Update for Wednesday, Jan. 6: Don’t Get Yer Knickers in a Twist

Morning. Luke is in the office when Tony arrives. It’s 10:15 and Tony admits he has slept in. He says since Luke was in charge, he felt secure in doing so. The phone rings then and Tony attempts to pick up. Only to find that Luke has glued the receiver to the phone. Luke laughs and does the one-handed gangsta-gotcha-hand snappy-clappy thing.

Outside, Eileen emerges from the store, on the phone with Todd and giving him agro because he wants to buy a motorbike. Liz strolls up. The two of them chat about Steve being in the Maldives…Moll-Deeves, and Liz having Lloyd all to herself for 2 weeks. Eileen finds herself retching at the thought of Lloyd’s naked bits.

Joe, looking haggard and ragged has a run-in with Len by his van. Joe is running behind on kitchen construction. He claims he is on top of it. Mr. Kunzie has pointed out that Joe is behind in his work because he’s been whimpering under a dirty afghan for a week. Len reluctantly agrees to smooth it over with the property owner for the time being.

Lloyd and Poppy are discussing clubs in Ibiza over coffee in back of the Rovers. Having not ventured much past Burlington since becoming self-employed and holiday-less, I didn’t know that one pronounced this i-bee-tha. So now I do. Ibeetha. Poppy has all the clubs down pat. Liz comes in, as their conversation continues. Liz assumes Poppy is going on holiday, and becomes immediately pissy-angry to learn that it’s Lloyd going. Lloyd looks only slightly uncomfortable as he fills in Liz. He was going to tell her at the Chinese, before the crab-boobing incident.

Don’t bother sending a postcard,” Liz snarls, and smashes Lloyd’s coffee cup out of his hands and onto the floor.

Maria and Cousin Tom are messing about with boxes of Lad Rags at Maria’s, when Tony pops in. He says he has spoken with their supplier so they can receive staggered shipments and improve their cashflow. Rosie rings Tony’s mobile then, her jubblies in a flap over Tony’s absence, and the presence of a pissed-off customer. The customer, Mr. Appleton, is taking a round out of the staff when Tony returns, over some shoddily made lace knickers. Julie attempts to smooth the waters, but the customers says he wants to speak to the organ grinder, not the monkey.

Tony returns, breezily whisking the client into the office, leaving the staff ot speculate which if the two owners is in charge, Mike or Danny Baldwin; Paul or Liam Connor; oh wait, Luke Strong or Tony Gordon. They wonder how it will ever work out with two bosses. Sean wants to know what the male equivalent of a catfight is.

is it a dogfight?

or maybe a cockfight?

Lloyd limps into Streetcars, after being mauled by his bipolar cougar. Eileen begins carping at Lloyd because Lloyd’s name is off the shift rota. Lloyd explains that he’s off to lads-only in Ibeeetha. Lloyd points out that he’s a grown man and should be able to go to Ibeeeeeeeeeeetha whenever he wants.

Tony has succeeded in ironing out Mr. Appleton, and the staff chirpily invite the customer to inspect their process. Luke shows up then, and Tony hauls him aside and gives him what-for, because he increased the order without taking proper steps to offset other deliveries. Luke says he wasn’t aware he needed Tony’s permission. Tony and the customer duck out for lunch.

Amber-man sporting a grownuppish new haircut, has been accepted at King’s College, which she announces in the shop to Dev, Umed and Darryl. Dev is over the moon, and calls Tara to share his news. Tara is having a gallery meltdown and is not hearing her fella in wallet-closed mode.

In the bookies’ Peter sits quietly applying hand lotion. Michelle, wearing the court jester’s costume she has knicked from the Buckingham Palace Comedy Night, is razzing Peter about the lotion. She stops this to flirt with Luke, asking if Tony’s been getting on Luke’s whats-its. When Luke leaves the bookies, he places a call…of the mysterious, “go ahead with the plan,” variety.

Amber and Darryl talk at the bus stop about being waiters at Tara’s gallery opening. Amber is a bit worried that Tara is skint, obviously unaware that Tara is burning through her tuition.

Liz is bitching to Eileen over drinks that Lloyd (the same Lloyd she karate-chopped earlier) is being insensitive. Eileen is not commiserating. Lloyd shows up. Eileen tells the both of them that she wants none of them until they sort their problems out properly.

Umed and Dev discuss the gallery opening, when Audrey and Ted come in. Umed schmoozes the pair of them into attending the gallery launch party.

Lloyd and Liz sit in the sitting room at Rovers in stony silence. Liz says she’s hurt because Lloyd won’t be there to share two weeks alone with her. Lloyd says he is sorry about that, but he had a life before Liz, which included the option of going away if and when he felt like it. He admits he’s finding it difficult to change. Liz says his behaviour did not demonstrate give-and-take. But the ice has melted and a truce has resulted.

Joe finds Len in the Rovers. He tells Len he needs to borrow some money. Len says he’ll set up the appointment, but the lenders are the “real deal” and he might end up with broken legs. So out of the frying pan into….never mind…

At the factory, Luke is sorting out shifts to cover the rush order. Tony comes back in, saying the customer has been settled down. They begin arguing over Luke’s managing of things, and Luke divulges that he doesn’t really need Tony’s input at all; apparently he has bought all of Carla’s shares. Making him the new boss.


About t. kunzie

Toni Kunz is a female soccer trainer in a mens' world, graphic designer and aspiring writer. She lives and works in Toronto.
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4 Responses to Update for Wednesday, Jan. 6: Don’t Get Yer Knickers in a Twist

  1. ShimmeryLJ says:

    You are too funny!

  2. haili says:

    Great pictures. I haven’t seen knickers like that since my toddler daughters wore them and didn’t know they had them for grown women!

    Luke and Tony are interesting together but Tony is much smoother with customers. Poor Tony’s little heart was broken, but is it a heart attack or a panic attack?

    Did anyone else think Poppy and Lloyd have eyes for each other?

    Can Joe get any dumber?

  3. eps says:

    Man, I really appreciated this update – I couldn’t figure out where in the heck Lloyd was going.

    Weaselbean assured me that southern Brits have no problem with Sophie’s accent. I guess it is just a case of her (Sophie) thinking that there is a part for The Mumbler in the next Batman movie.

    Yes, Joe could get dumber – he could marry Gail. Could Gail get dumber? Nahhh, we know she’ll say “yes” if he proposes. She has the discrimination ability of a moth with flame.

  4. missusmac says:

    Gail slays me. I think deep down she’s a nice woman, who truly did her best with her family, but she’s so BLIND when it comes to men! Oh, Joe’s definitely a keeper,..

    Liz, a woman of mature age, is acting like she’s 15. Poor Poppy. She and Lloyd did seem to be getting on.

    Natasha and Tony? Anyone else see that coming???

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