Update for Thursday, Jan 7, 2010: Cool Hand Luke

The War of the (Under)Worlds

We pick up from where we left off yesterday.  Tony storms into the office after he has learned that Luke bought out all of Carla’s shares of Underworld.  Tony is not best pleased.  The rest of the Underworld staff try to listen at the now-shut door.

So what is Tony’s next move?  He’ll call Carla’s solicitor and ask her to spill the beans – client-lawyer confidentiality be damned.  After an unsuccessful phone call, Tony starts to drive off and nearly runs over Natasha.  He looks rattled, but when Natasha suggests that a drink would settle their nerves (he need not pine over his wife), he balks and drives off.  However, Natasha took one of his business cards and is chuffed that she can call him whenever she wants.

We find Tony at Carla’s solicitor’s office.  The solicitor is furious that her administrative assistant didn’t chuck him out, but speaks with him anyway.  Apparently, since Tony put Carla into contact with said solicitor, he’s entitled to all of their communications.  Despite client-solicitor confidentiality, the solicitor reads the following to Tony from Carla’s file: “Please encourage Mr. Strong to proceed as quickly as possible.  I wish to sever all my links with the company as soon as possible and please take all measure to ensure that my contact details are not given to my husband or Mr. Strong.”  The solicitor points out that it was not Carla who needed time to think, but Luke.  Scorch!!!

Back at his flat, Tony downs a number of scotches.  I think the major difference between Tony and Peter Barlow is the cost of the liquor consumed.  Let’s hope that they don’t form a friendship or 2 businesses on the street will be doomed.  Rosie appears at the flat and expects that Tony will send her on errands – we know she’s great at stealing files.  Anyhow, Tony has packed up all of Carla’s clothes, etc. and asks Rosie to get rid of them.

Back at the Rovers, Natasha is bragging to Poppy about her affections for a single married man (i.e., Tony) and texts him the following:  “An indiscreet little bird told me what a tough day you’ve had.  If this is how she’s treating you, then believe me, your wife isn’t worth it.  Thinking of you, your mate, Natasha.”  What a sensitive gal – she should really be a crisis counselor.  Tony is looking through photos with another wee dram of Scotch while his phone receives the text.  After reading the message, he starts to have a full-on panic attack.

Corrie Culture:  A male bonding trip to Ibiza and an overrated art show

At the Rovers, creepy Uncle Umed is using his seductive charms hitting on Poppy.  He’d like her phone number and wonders if she taken.  Poppy describes her affections for a bodybuilder with enormous biceps – so big in fact that they can have a full-sized tattoo of her head.  After soiling himself,  Umed decides to back off and wishes her well.   Lloyd has been listening and then starts to make jokes with Poppy about getting searched (read: body searched) at the airport.  After a few more awkward moments, Liz is convinced that Poppy and Lloyd are mocking her and storms upstairs.  Lloyd lets her know that Poppy doesn’t have a boyfriend – but she uses this to keep blokes away.  They snog.  Lloyd leaves.  Liz cuts Poppy’s shifts.  The End.

Lets cut to Weatherfield’s best lamest Art Show of the year.  Tara (aka her holiness) exchanges air kisses (ugh!) with her attendants and is mean to Amber and Darryl.  What an angel is our Tara.  Then she explains art to creepy Uncle Umed, who proclaims it to be garbage.  Uncle Umed then explains this same photo to Audrey and Ted later using Tara’s interpretation.  Good times.  Thank goodness there seems to be an open bar.

Other news

In other news, Sophie wants to her mother to buy new shoes, but that will interfere with her church service on Sunday.  Sophie has found an ally in Emily.  Oy vey!

Audrey heads over to Gail’s after the art show, which she proclaimed to be garbage.  Photos are not art, by the way.  Anyone can snap a photo.  Gail, who has just again won the award for martyr of the year, is setting a place for David, who left for Martin’s the other day.  He’ll always be welcome at her table and a place will always be set for him.  This, in addition to seeing Joe, sets Audrey off.  They row.  Audrey leaves.  The End.