Monday January 19th 2010 – The Firestarter Update

UK Time: Monday March 30^th Episode II

I recon that almost half of the Street residents have been pulled out of a raging fire in their homes, or in the pub, or wherever. This leads me to wonder if people in the UK invest in fire alarms, or batteries for that matter. That was my thought for the beginning of Monday night’s episode. The show opened with Peter’s cigarette starting a fire on the brown shag-ish rug on the floor. Amazingly, Peter himself doesn’t light up like a torch, he’s got that much alcohol in his system. Poor little Simon alone in his bed, and sucking his thumb is awakened by the smoke  (PS. that wopuldn’t happen in real life. That is why alarms exist) and comes out of his room to find a house on fire with his father and bunny totally passed out. Well, the bunny went down due to smoke inhalation while his father was just stone drunk.

Simon, that clever little mite, called Deirdre to get his address so that he could call the fire department. He even got annoyed when she called back and tied up his line. I just want you all to think what would have happened if it was Amy in this house. She would have sat there staring into the flames, convincing herself that she actually started that fire with her mind.

Anyway, Simon manages to wake up the waste of space that his is dad, who is so drunk he can stand up. He ends up falling on Simon trapping him in the house until he too passes out. Is that a metaphor for his later life or what?

Thankfully a new dynamic-duo were on the street likely trading clever insults and veiled threats. Tony Gordon and Luke Strong went charging down the road. Luke kicked the door in while Tony called 999 (something Deirdre could have done a million times from the house). The two men charged up the stairs into the fire to drag Simon and Peter to safety. Just men being men. Luke Strong very thoughtfully risks his life to get the bunny a la Sigourney Weaver in Alien.

By the time Luke and Tony get the unlucky and drunk Barlow out of the house the ambulance has arrived and everyone – including the bunny – is taken to the hospital. Tony, Luke and the bunny are fine, but Peter is poorly. The worse off is Simon.

Deirdre and Blanche are waiting in the hall when Ken suddenly rushes in quick with a lie to explain his long absence. Soon after, they can finally go see Peter who wakes up and heads straight for Simon’s bedside. While Simon struggles Peter reads the story he was too drunk to read him last episode.

That's Dev, bouncing back.

No one rebounds like Dev Alahan! Due to some stunningly stupid moves by Dev’s partner in crime, Amber’s friend Minnie (or Dev’s next girlfriend, as I like to call her) the pictures that Dev secretly bought from Tara’s shop end up on the counter of the Corner Shop. Dev wants the pictures moved as soon as possible before Tara comes into the shop. TOO LATE!

Tara sees the pictures, which suck, and finally figures that Dev bought the pictures. She feels like a clown and not because her eye make-up looks like one. Then come the tears of a clown. Dev tries to explain, but Tara is not buying it. Tara is determined to leave and Dev chases after to no avail. I wonder if Tara has a plan to deal with the gallery.

Thankfully his fortunes seem to go up almost immediately as he walks into the pub and finds Lisa there. Remember her? She was Prem’s accountant. Dev dated her while he was having an affair with Nina, Tara’s mom. They start with wine but finish with teguilla and I think we all know where that leads. Out the Rover’s front door on the way to Dev’s flat. This man is a machine. I wonder if he will tell Lisa that he just got dumped by the daughter of her former client who dated him despite the fact that he is the septuagenarian who was thrilling her mother all those months ago.

 In Other News

Fiz has discovered that Chezney has skipped school. As a result she’s going to walk him to school the next day.

Lamely, Tom seems to have developed a thing for Maria. I can’t get a date, but a pregnant deranged harpie with more baggage than Louis Vuitton is beating them off with a stick.

Eileen’s dad continues to creep me out as we run up to his birthday. Rita may plan him a surprise party.