Suddenly, Colin springs to life! “Psych!” he cries.
Nah, he’s dead. The doctor confirmed it and everything.
“Well,” Eileen says to PC Thuir’s Bin a Muirder and PC The Other Guy. “He’s not going to help you with your inquiries now, is he?’
The police step outside as Eileen fills out the death certificate.
“You gave them the slip, you old rascal,” she says to Colin’s body.
Outside, Julie arrives to find the two cops. They give her the bad news and, well, she spends the rest of the episode wailing. Eileen heads over to the Rovers where Jason is having a fight with a malfunctioning fruit machine. She gives him the news. On their way out, Eileen tells Rita, who’s seated with Ramsay, Blanche, and Emily. Rita is shocked.
Back at Eileen’s Julie is still wailing about having lost her father, after having just met him. Jason tries to comfort her, saying that if she never came to the street, she would have never have met her father at all.
“There’s wisdom in you, Jason Grimshaw,” she says. “I don’t care what anyone says.”
Um, what are people saying? Jason thinks.
Out back, Eileen and Jason talk about things.
“How’s the wailing widow? Still throwing herself over the body?” You might recall Julie did this at a funeral once but I can’t remember whose it was. Vera’s? Liam’s? It was someone she didn’t even know so you can imagine what she’s like.
Anyhow, Eileen and Jason agree that this was for the best and that he wouldn’t have survived a trial anyway.
At Eileen’s, Colin’s body has been taken away as Rita comes over to offer condolences.
At the Rovers, Deirdre and Ken learn of Colin’s death. Blanche tells Ramsay that she’s been to more funerals than he’s had hot dinners. Deirdre adds that she just likes going to funerals. Like my mother, she is.
Things are getting testy between Eileen and Julie and she eventually offers to go help Jason clear out his flat. Julie asks if she could choose a song for the funeral.
“Oh, like Teenage Kicks?” Eileen asks.
Finally alone at home, Eileen breaks down into tears.
In Other News
Michelle has been offered a six month tour of Europe by JD but Ryan doesn’t want to be shipped off to Ireland again. She’s also going on a date with Luke.
Chesney doesn’t see much of Sophie these days as she’s hanging out at her Chris-tian youth centre.
Fizz is trying to get a hold of John and lying to Chesney about what she’s doing, saying she’s was the hospital with Maria.
Ramsay is being quickly brought up to speed on the street and every one sings a line from “The Blue Ridge Mountains”, which is about Virginia, in honour of the Blue Mountains in, um, Australia.