Monday March 15h – The Open Letter Update

UK Time: Monday May 24th 2009 – Episode II

To all of you with love

Dear Fizz,

Fizz girl, what did you expect? The minute you decided that you were gonna over look the shocking infidelity with a skanky barely legal teen and crazy felony involving that same teenager you should have known that at some point Sally Webster was gonna go ape-shizzel in your front room. Thank goodness for Chezy and Sophie or Sally and Rosie would have camped out in your settee hurling every insult they could have thought an you know it would have gotten personal.

Girlfriend, I want you to think about your life. Your brother Chezney has been through enough, the kid is in tatters and all because you can’t wash that man outta your ginger curls. He’s not good enough for you and you’ve never made yourself so pathetic for anyone before. Why the tubby ex-teacher?

Fizz don’t you see that the only voice f reason in Chezney’s life right now is Sophie Webster? It should be that way mainly because the general observer can’t understand a word she is saying, she could be telling Chezney that only hard drugs and strippers can save him now, although, I think she is trying to be generous with forgiveness.

Baby girl, can’t you see everyone you care about has had enough? Even Kirk has rubbed together his 6 brain cells and come up with the obvious conclusion. But what do you do? As soon as you can you arrange to visit him like a sneaky teenager.  As to be expected, it all ended in tears.

For this once I beg you to listen to John. He sat across from you in that prison visiting room and said the hard truth that you needed to hear. He was right girl. John Stape has only brought pain and trouble into your life and its got to stop. You looked heartbroken as he left you crying in that room, but it had to be done.

Stay strong girl, he may have left you crying in a prison waiting room, but we both know that ain’t the worst he’s done.

Yours in prison and promises,


Dear Julie,

Julie, you must have always wanted a sister. And I understand why you would be so jazzed about finding out that the one-and-only Eileen Grimshaw as your new-found sister, but I want you to think about what it would have been like to have grown up with her. All her sarcasm and cutting remarks would have found a home. That home would be you and now that she is she is a mature adult, she has just honed her craft, so watch out.

Julie, there are probably a number of things that Eileen wouldn’t like. An evening alone with you is probably near the top of her list, but when you combine that with a DVD of The Sound of Music and it isn’t even Christmas, you have to know that Eileen is doing her level best not to throw you out of her house. No wonder she went out to get about 9 bottles of booze.

Thankfully while Eileen was away Sean arrive home from his lovelorn holiday in Spain. It was good of you to use your powers of sympathy on him but you may have noticed that you and Sean were much more interested in the escapades of a wealthy Austrian family running from the Nazis while Eileen poured wine down her neck.

However, Julie, I can tell. You and Eileen are going to be Bessie mates in no time.

Yours is delusion and dross


Dear Luke Strong,

I love you. I know this is sudden but I feel like I have to make my feelings plain. You show some questionable taste by inviting that raging harpie Michelle into your life, but your taste level must be inversely proportional to your imagination. What I wouldn’t give for a devilishly handsome gent, such as yourself, to build a little beach resort in my back yard, regale me with charming stories of his youth, feed me fish and chips and ice cream and then, magically open up his feeling and tell me about a severe emotional tragedy. Oh, you’d have me at “She died in a motorbike accident.”

However, Luke Strong, you will likely get out tradgedied once Michelle gets the change to list the great Irish Sweepstakes of Misery that is her family history. Run while you can, Luke. Run right into my arms.

Seriously, I love you,


The World of Corrie in 140 characters or less

Open Tweets

Sian Powers

Why are boys only interested in one thing?

About 1 hour ago via web

Ryan Connor

@ Sian Powers, come on, baby. If we had gone up to my room my mom wouldn’t have caught us. lol

About 1 hour ago via txt

Rover’s Return Pup

Big Pub Quiz 2nite! Newton and Riddley pale Ale on special. Tweet back to reserve a table.

5 hours ago via tweet deck

Open Facebook Status Updates

Norris Cole is Happy with his performance at the pub quiz. I think my friends and neighbours were glad to see me out-wit that scoundrel


  • Ken Barlow: Yes Norris, that’s what we all were thinking.
  • Lloyd Mullany: Oh, and I suppose they weren’t impressed with my hosting skill, then?
  • Rita Sullivan: No, we weren’t.

Garry Windass is Just totally got ripped off by my boss on a bank holiday. I’ll make him pay one way or another


  • Tina McIntyre: What’s this then about my dad? Oh, you two sort it out.
  • Joe McIntyre: Oh really scared. Has anyone seen my pain killers?
  • David Platt: Tina, why are you all over Gary’s wall?
  • Darryl Morton: David, why are you all over Tina AND Gary’s wall?
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10 Responses to Monday March 15h – The Open Letter Update

  1. haili says:

    LOL Debbie. If only they could read those letters! Fizz is not open to reason and I guess love is blind.

    Poor Eileen. She has my condolences; about Julie, not her dad.

    Bon Voyage Michelle. Stay as long as you want; years, and maybe forever.

  2. corrierules says:

    Brilliant update Debbie!

    Hey Michelle — here’s your hat what’s your hurry?

  3. beanie says:

    Debbie, Just one word……BRILLIANT !!!

  4. Diane/tvor says:

    What they said! Love it!

  5. Barbie says:

    Yes, that was really funny
    Eileen was funny too, drinking her wine

  6. missusmac says:

    I have always loved Eileen, but when she admitted to hating the Sound of Music, I knew that we could actually be best mates — if she was real, and all. I HATE that movie.

    Poor Fizz.

    • Barbie says:

      I hate Julie Andrews, don’t care what she’s in.

      • corrierules says:

        Them’s fightin” words, ma’am. I love Julie Andrews.

        Having said that, I can see how SofM holds little appeal if you’re over 12 or under 80…
        Loved the scene where Julie (notAndrews!) and Sean were all snuggly-wuggly on the couch, weepy-eyed and entranced… and then the camera pans over to Eileen, slugging back wine and rolling her eyes. lol

    • Mark Daye says:

      The Sound of Music sucks more than Michelle Connor. Don’t let the door hit you on your way out googlie eyes.

  7. Mark says:

    Best update ever.

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