Monday March 22nd – The This Episode Was About as Interesting as Watching Tiger Woods in a Convent Update

UK Time: Monday June 1st – Episode II

Michelle at 18 Months

The show opens at Peter’s flat. Michelle is telling Peter that he really should get all wrapped up in a one-night-stand. Peter’s argument is that it wasn’t just a one-night-stand, “it was us.” Yes, that three-week history they have must be really meaningful. Peter firmly believes that they could make each other happy. Michelle’s response: “I don’t do happy anymore. I’ve had it beaten out of me.” That’s right, everyone board the misery train en route for Connor station. She is gonna be a blast on the road.

A bit later pathetic pair are sat on the couch. Peter is trying to convince Michelle that they belong together. Michelle is telling Peter that they don’t. Michelle tells Peter that she still isn’t over Steve, and Peter isn’t over Leanne… Leanne who? Sorry, did Leanne and Peter have the world’s deepest romance for those 7 episodes? This is a little overblown. In the end, Peter kinda gives up and leaves.

Out on the street, Lloyd is waiting for Michelle to take her to wherever – the important thing is that she’s leaving … in a brown velour tracksuit. She has a chat to Ryan and is really broken up. She’s only going for a little while right? But, I guess any goodbye for a Connor could be the last goodbye. Better get your hugs in now.

Thankfully Peter has Ken to lean on. You know, when you are facing an emotional crisis, nothing like an overly intellectual geriatric will do. Peter tells Ken how sad he is about Michelle and how much he wants a drink. Ken suggests that Michelle was right and they Peter needs to sort himself out more before he launches into a relationship.

After Ken leaves, Peter goes through Blanche’s things and finds a half drunk bottle of wine sitting in the box like the last chcoclate in a box of Lindor on January 5th . Blanche Hunt: always thoughtful. You can see that Peter wants to drink it. In the end, he throws the bottle against what must be the most durable tile work in al of England. The bottle smashes into a million little pieces.

Outside Roy’s Rolls Hayley jumps out the woody with a life-size cardboard cut out of Roy’s identity thief, Eddie Windass. Roy is sweeping the walk and is understandably confused by the picture. Just then Anna pops her head out the café door to tell Roy that the Cash ‘n Carry are on the phone for him. Anna is also surprised by the picture and says its got nothing to do with her, you know beyond the fact that the man in the picture is her husband.

Meanwhile Eddie is being as useful as Jay Leno at NBC in the cab office when Anna storms in with the cardboard cut out. The up-shot of that meeting is that Eddie and Anna have a sit down with Roy and Hailey in the café. Eddie seems to think that apologizing for the identity theft and fraud is good enough and that he should be thanked for falling on his sword, or getting caught bang to rights.

Later on Anna is sitting on a bench in the street – I don’t think it’s the Maxine Peacock murder memorial bench. Eddie comes lumbering up and tried to apologize to Anna. After a couple minutes, Hailey comes over and assures Anna that she still has a job, but Eddie has to pay the Croppers back. Anna is overjoyed that she still has a job and that the croppers take identity theft so well. She then turns to Eddie and lays down the law. No more tricks, the guy has to earn his keep proper-like.

At the end of the day at the Rovers Hailey and Roy go over the events f the day and disagree over the ethics of taking the mini-break to Paris. Listen, Roy. When a woman wants to go to Paris, take her to Pairs.

Meanwhile, Windass the younger is being taken in by David’s stories of untold robbery booty. He’s falling for it like Nascar Dads at the Republican convention. Then Gary’s uncle Len appears to remind him what could happen if he got in trouble with the law again. Suddenly that matters to Len, you see.

In Other News

Joe is popping drugs like Keith Richards in Toronto. Gail is too stupid to notice and David has not stolen Joe’s fix.

Sean is having a pre-mid life crisis and is looking for a chance like Kritsi Ally on A&E.

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14 Responses to Monday March 22nd – The This Episode Was About as Interesting as Watching Tiger Woods in a Convent Update

  1. Bea says:

    That picture is so cute!!
    I am really getting tired of Michelle’s long goodbye. And the guys are all begging her to stay. Except her family, they are all saying go,go,go. Especially Ryan.

  2. Mark says:

    “Michelle’s response: “I don’t do happy anymore. I’ve had it beaten out of me.”


    As John Stewart would say, “Michelle, meet me at camera three.”.

    Michelle, you have one dead husband and the doofus Steve MacDonald that cheated on you, by my count (and maybe I’ve forgotten something), this does not equate to having the ‘happy beaten out of you.’
    You are an insult to hurt and broken people everywhere.

    Jeeze Louise, get a grip. No, get a train. Get it today and get out of Weatherfield.

    Be gone woman!

    • Barbee says:

      My feelings exactly. Sorry eps, I agree with Mark. Michelle has always been a luggage trolley at the station, totally overloaded. Peter, I’m disappointed with. I really thought he and Leanne had something going. I mean, they really have BAD pasts to share (I mean, who could outdo the other?), and seemed to have chemistry as well. Michelle, well, pass the mayo.
      Both Luke and Peter were crazy to haul out the more-than-welcome mats, but thank the writers (and I think a pregnancy) for sending Michelle on tour.
      But what’s next? I’ve given up on cheating, so am really curious!
      I’m loving Eileen – what an actress lately!

    • Gayle says:

      Mark I so agree bad choice of words – “happiness beaten out of her” hardly.
      I can’t stand the woman and am glad to see the back of her and her ass-ugly track suit!

    • Mary Prankster says:

      You’re forgetting that in addition to being widowed with a small child, then having both her brothers killed, as well as finding out after 15 years that her baby was switched in the hospital & the son she’s loved & raised was the wrong kid, not to mention having a dubious sister-in-law who married a nut-job, (ONLY in a soap-opera!) Michelle trusted Steve, who betrayed her. What more should she have endured to qualify for being beaten down?! I’m sure she was spoiled as a child, being the only girl,with doting brothers & parents,& it gave her an unattractive sense of entitlement, but dammit! She’s paid dues, & now if she can make use of her looks & musical talent, why not?
      Neither Luke nor especially Peter were thinking of her, only themselves.

      • TJ says:

        Didn’t Michelle also date a guy before Steve who was Sean’s old lover? And then he cheated on her with Sean?

  3. eps says:

    Debbie, I love the line, “He’s falling for it like Nascar Dads at the Republican convention”. With your kind permission I plan to get a lot of mileage out of using it myself.

    I know folks don’t like Michele and she can be OTT but really, don’t you think Luke and Peter are equally selfish? Good grief, she has the opportunity to do something that is truly important to her, has the blessing of her teen son (Duh, a young boy’s dream – Mom gone for 6 months or whatever, better than the occasional weekend) and their response(s) add up to: Stay with me Michele, I want to have sex with you. I cannot make any commitment and may not have a stellar track record with women but I am really attracted to you and you should stay in case I feel like having an ongoing relationship or having sex a few more times.
    Run Michele!

    • missusmac says:

      Never thought of it that way, eps. You’re right, it is selfish of both guys to insist she stay. Not sure if Luke has a stellar record or not, but we know Peter has at least as much baggage as she does, or MORE.

      Why would she not be over Steve? I don’t care for Michelle, but he wasn’t very kind to her at the end.

  4. Joe and his psycho back pain is really giving me a pain. Please just croak or have surgery for heaven’s sake!

  5. haili says:

    Joe was like Mr. Hyde or some psycho from a horror movie. He seems better at wrecking cupboards than building them. He should have at least hired someone to help load and unload the heavy stuff.

    Len doesn’t want Gary to do robbery? Yet he had no trouble bringing him in on the last one at the builders yard.

    Two whole months without Michelle. Wonderful.

    • Bea says:

      It is so funny watching Joe tear the kitchen apart in his pain & frustration. You just know he’s going to turn into an addict.
      Joe is his own worst enemy. He’s just stupid, and never learns.

  6. Mandy says:

    I’m really dissapointed with Coronation Street lately. Seems like nothing amazing is going on right now. I used to tune in and be on the edge of my seat. Well, not anymore! I find myself bored as I watch it. But of course I’ll stick with it because I hope there’s some interesting stuff coming up.

    Is it just me or is Natasha really annoying? She’s never really fit in on the Street for me.

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