Update for Wednesday, Mar. 25: Pork Pie, We Have A Problem

Pork Pie, We Have A Problem

Joe has gotten his hands on some pills at the emergency room of the hospickle and has set about repairing the kitchen. David said the damage could be passed off as a “distressed look”. Joe says, not so much. Gail likes shiny and new. He apologizes to David for morphing into a frothy, sweating madman earlier and trashing the kitchen. Oh yeah, and please don’t tell Gail.

David gets a text from Gary, who wants to meet him out back for a chat. Gary tells David he wants to see the House To Be Robbed. David balks at first but agrees. Later they sit in a car in “disguise”, hoping the addition of two baseball caps will distort their features beyond recognition. Gary thinks the House To Be Robbed looks small, but David assures him there are more jewels in there than in Fifty Cent’s house. Gary wants to know where the stash is, and David says master bedroom.

As far as access, the story is that round back there is a toilet window with no lock, and David assures Gary the alarm is busted. They agree to meet on a street corner near the house at 8:00.

Later, David is in the butcher’s explaining to Graham that Gary Windass is like a big, thick mouse sniffing at a block of cheese. Graham is only semi-following the plot. David reveals that it’s his gran’s that Gary and he are supposed to be burgling.

He plans to stand Gary up, knowing that Gary the Mouse will head for the cheese without him. Once inside, the police will be phoned and snap up Gary.

David, meanwhile, is going to be home eating lamb chops with Joseph. (At that point, he buys four of said chops for 9 pounds forty.) Graham is trying to work out how David is going to know Gary is inside the house so as to call the coppers.

David then reveals that he hopes to enlist Graham  to spy on Gary and call the cops once Gary is inside, using pre-paid cell phones. Graham at first is like, naaa-aaaa, not my scene, man, but David strongarms him with the old “I thought we were mates” routine and Graham capitulates. On the condition that he get a code name.

Gary leaves his house with knapsack, telling Uncle Len that he’s off to a new gym.

Over at the Platt’s, Gail has rung. David talks to her and doesn’t let on that Joe went postal in the kitchen. After he hangs up, he takes a call on the Untraceable Cell from Graham, code name: Mister Saveloy. He is calling David, aka Pork Pie.

Mr. Saveloy rings again to say he is two-zero metres from Pork Pie's gran's house. He has sighted target, Gary Windass on the corner.

David calls Gary, saying abort the job, as he can’t come due to Joe’s back being seized up. He counts on Gary not being able to resist. Graham reports that this appears to be true; Gary has entered the house. David asks him to call the cops.

Pork Pie, We have a Problem…

Juuuust then, who should walk up to Audrey’s, key in hand, but Ted!!! Uh oh!!! Ted lets himself in, hangs his hat and prepares to make tea. Gary, meanwhile is tossing the bedroom for jewels. Gary freezes, unsure of whether to flee or fight.

C’est Cheese!

Sean is excited about the Gazette coming to photograph the Rovers’ Return charity donation of 500 pounds to the local hospital. He is whizzing off to town to get the super-big cheque and gussy himself up to be in the newspaper photo.

In the pub, Becky gives Eddie Windass a telling-off for Croppergate, before smooching up to Steve to suggest Sean is the wrong person to be photographed, and in fact it should be them, Bonnie and Clyde.

Poppy emerges from the back, having a conniption because Betty has apparently hurled an egg-timer at her for asking when the hot-pot would be ready. Later In the back of the Rovers, Betty and Poppy have an audience with Steve to sort their differences. He tells them to kiss and make up.

Sean shows up at the pub with a tan, frosted tips and a new suit, holding the super-big cheque. Steve and Becky try to tell him gently that he’s not to be in the photo. Sean is well miffed and pulls a super-sulk. Becky and Sean argue and have a pully-pully match with the huge cardboard cheque. Meanwhile, Poppy appears to say she’s at the end of her rope with Betty. In exasperation, Steve tells her she’s the manager, so manage it.

The reporter from the Gazette shows up, and Becky has changed into a silver cocktail dress. After receiving a face-eating snog from Steve, she and Sean continue to bicker about the photo session until Steve finally suggests they both be in the picture. They make up, kiss-kiss and head outside for their photo.

Betty approaches Steve, furious that after all her years of loyal service, she has been fired by Poppy and Steve didn’t have the guts to speak to her himself.

In Other News

Ken pops by the Bookies, to give Peter his opinion that a professional’s advice should be sought for Peter’s drinking. He has a leaflet for a support group. Peter says such groups aren’t really his speed, but agrees to keep the leaflet. Peter is fearful that Ken wants to turn him into one of his projects. Later that night, he packs up  Simon for a visit to Ken and Deirdre’s so he can attend the meeting. Peter tries to stay at the meeting, but finds the circle-sharing not for him and politely excuses himself.


About t. kunzie

Toni Kunz is a female soccer trainer in a mens' world, graphic designer and aspiring writer. She lives and works in Toronto.
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19 Responses to Update for Wednesday, Mar. 25: Pork Pie, We Have A Problem

  1. Gayle says:

    Awesome update! Did anyone else think the chops were rather pricey?

    I was so angry at Steve for not paying attention to Poppy’s complaining about Betty. She is 87 let her have a cup of tea!

  2. missusmac says:

    It’s official, truly hating Poppy now. At first, I thought she would be a nice addition, potentially someone who would give Liz a run for her money with Lloyd. Anyone who cranks about a 904-year-old bar maid taking a break needs to be fired!

  3. haili says:

    Those chops were a ridiculous price. No wonder people shop at Betta Buys (or wherever) instead of Ashley’s shop.

    I thought Poppy could have been a good character but it looks like she could be gone if she tangles with Betty. How stupid is she to do that and then interrupt her boss while he’s getting a publicity picture taken?!

  4. TracyEmm says:

    Not sure where this storyline is going with Poppy… there has to be more to it. Surely it can’t be that bad of a ‘filler’!!!

    Can’t wait to see if Gary spills the beans on David in the plan – or if he goes for complete denial full stop…

    Poor Ted, hope this isn’t a sad exit for him… surely he’ll be okay!!!

  5. Bea says:

    Wow! With chops that price we’d all have to become vegetarians.
    I can’t believe anyone would have such a mean attitude toward an old lady. I think most people would just have Betty around to chat up the punters. It’s bad enough they have her cooking hot pot, but I guess everyone loves it and she is proud of her cooking, as she should be.
    I sincerely hope that David hasn’t caused Ted’s demise. I think that would be absolutely the last straw.

  6. Kerry says:

    So I went online to Tesco where Finest Hand Cut Lamb Loin Chops are 9 pounds this week. Only a few pence cheaper. Holy crap, that’s not cheap.

    I officially hate Poppy. Even if I was the manager there and Betty was my less-than-model-employee, I’d still take in to consideration that she’s 904.

    Steve needs to grow a pair.

  7. beanie says:

    I don’t remember Poppy becoming manager. What’s that about?

    • TracyEmm says:

      I know! This storyline has to be going somewhere! Surely?! Maybe Poppy will leave the show…. I just dont get this storyline at all.

  8. haili says:

    I think Liz put Poppy in charge while she’s away.

    The robber in the cute picture reminds me more of Graham than Gary. I was wondering why Gary didn’t just climb out the window, unless he got in on the ground floor.

  9. missusmac says:

    I think Gary tried the window, and it wouldn’t open.

    I’m still unsure how David will get away with this. Graeme strikes me as someone who will crack if a question is yelled at him. AND, Gary dumped out everything he’d stashed into his backpack, and left it there. Could be the charges will be dropped because he didn’t actually take anything.

    • TracyEmm says:

      yes I think you could be onto a good ending… Perhaps Gary will tell all about David’s involvement – admit that he dumped the goods on the bed when he realized it was a relative of David’s (and he had been set up). It won’t take much to convince Audrey, as she knows what a loser David really is… so perhaps you are right missusmac, maybe Gary won’t go down with the law…

  10. haili says:

    He did break and enter though so he should get time just for that since he’s got “form.” Ted having a heart attack could make things a lot worse for Gary and David did tell Gary to abort the mission. Gary does deserve what he gets after all the trouble he caused and his goading and beating of David and the times he’s pushed his way into the Platts.’

  11. Mary Prankster says:

    Gary & David both deserve to “go down”. Wouldn’t it be great if they ended up cell-mates?!

  12. Mary Prankster says:

    I wonder if the Poppy/Betty conflict is a way of writing Betty out of the show on short notice. The actress has got to be considering retirement by now, surely?! Does anyone know if her health is causing problems?

  13. haili says:

    I’ve read that a story line is coming up for Betty as the UK’s oldest barmaid so I don’t think it will be Betty who leaves.

  14. Cayenne says:

    Gary has actually been growing on me lately (even I’M surprised by this!)so I’m really hoping David goes down instead…

  15. haili says:

    I was a bit worried about Graham. If he was caught in that outfit with the black streaks on his face the police would be sure to take him in for something.

    Gary deserves everything he gets IMO. He’s done enough thievery and caused enough problems in the past to earn a little jail time. Too bad the father and uncle couldn’t go with him. David is devious, but I’m kind of with him on this one.

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