I always wondered who those people were who always seemed to have money while the rest of us schlubs scrimped and saved every penny we could and yet, it’s still never enough. I often wondered, What am I doing wrong? Where do they get all this money? Tonight, we discovered that Rosie is one such person and all she had to do to get rich was be kidnapped by a guilt-ridden intellectual perv with a big inheritance. Seems unfair, really.
Fizz is shuffling her way to work when she is met by Janice who, in this new upside-down world we live in, is now a sympathetic character. Janice asks what’s troubling her and she is brought up to speed on the fact that Rosie has gone to visit John Stape in prison, for reasons as yet unrevealed to them.
Rosie, for her part, has cheerfully announced to her family that she’s not deigning to waste her time with the common herd at Underworld. Sally warns her that it’s not a good idea to take your job for granted in this recession. Rosie counters that, like health care and energy, some of us are recession proof.
At the factory, Tony has borrowed one of Anderson Cooper’s black t-shirts and announced that he’s working from Maria’s house for the day. He tells the girls to make sure Mr. Strong is given the respect he deserves.
Sally tells Luke that Rosie is still sick but this is causing some disbelief among the staff. Kelly offers to stand in for Rosie by tottering around on unsuitable heels, flicking her hair, and asking silly questions. Sally tries to defend Rosie, saying she’s really sick. She’s just up and down.
“Like her drawers! Har! Har!” exclaims Janice to everyone’s delight. She also mentions it’s her birthday and everyone is invited for a proper booze-up at the Rovers. Even Luke Strong is coming.
Later, Janice and Sean talk to Fizz about Rosie and her as yet unrevealed reason for visiting John Stape in prison. Back at the Webster’s, Rosie is on the phone with Stape’s solicitor to confirm that £150,000 will indeed be deposited into her account tomorrow. Upon hearing the good news, she responds in a discrete and subdued manner. Then she does a shrieking happy dance. Later, she meets her new BFF Minnie and gets her to skip work and go shopping, telling her of her recent good fortune. No, seriously, if someone ever up and gave me a princely sum of money like that, I always thought it would be prudent not to tell anyone at first or do anything rash. I’d be all cool like Michelle Obama, who never seems to get excited about anything. She’s just all “Yeah, that’s cool.” ’cause she’s awesome that way. Anyway, I often think about the day someone’s going to leave me a princely sum in their will. Usually during meetings at work.
Later at Janice’s birthday booze-up at the Rovers, Fizz is sitting glumly alone as the others get loaded on smuggled sambucca and Janice enjoys her gift from Sally of a half-used Ban roll-on. Finally when Rosie comes in with her shopping bags, Fizz confronts her and asks if she is seeing John.
Rosie responds that she must be crazy if she thought that and tells her that what actually happened is that John has given her compensation for her ordeal to the tune of One Hundred and Fifty Thousand Pounds!
“Well,” exclaims Janice. “That turned my deodorant into a cocked hat!”
So Rosie is rich middle-class and Fizz has learned that John is on suicide watch.
In Other News
Kevin tries to clear the air about his suspicions about Jason and Molly. Jason puts his foot in it by suggesting he’d never go for her.
“Oh, yeah. Big hunky Jason with dowdy little Molly. Must have been shattering for you.”
He tries to back peddle but really, when you’re accused of fancying someone’s wife, there’s no graceful way to deny it.
Tony has suddenly become Maria’s new gay best friend with the shopping and the Desperate Housewives DVD. That might be why he’s dressing like Anderson Cooper today.
Anna and Eddie Windass manage to heal the rift between them and Ted and Gail with Eddie’s homemade blackberry and cigarette butt pie. Then Gail goes and strokes Ted’s face, saying “I want you around for a long time” in the way you would say it to a lover. Gail, he’s your dad. That’s gross.