Update for Tuesday, May 11 2010. Every sperm is sacred

Every sperm is needed in your neighbourhood

At the hospital, Claire is still insisting that Ashley get a vasectomy but Ashley avoids the subject and asks to discuss it when they get home.

Later at home, Ashley gets a call from the hospital. Claire has disappeared. He leaves Josh with Steve and he and Lloyd head to the hospital. From the parking lot, Lloyd sees Claire on the roof! Ashley races upstairs to find her staring at the city, thinking about all the people who live there, having kids, eating beans on toast, dying…

Ashley thinks she’s going to jump but she says she doesn’t want to. She explains that when she found out she lost her baby, she was relieved. She says that the baby must have sensed she didn’t want her, so she left. Claire remembers how bad her post-natal depression was with Freddy (she thought he wasn’t her, left him at the park once or twice, kinda threw him into traffic…) and she feared going through that again.

When the cops arrive, Claire panics and thinks they’re there to put her away. Ashley promises this is not the case and they walk down. Ashley explains that they’ve gone through a miscarriage and everything is fine as he will take steps to never let something like that happen again.

“You mean…?” asks Lloyd.

“That’s right, Lloyd,” he answers. “I’m getting a vasectomy!”

Liam Would Have Wanted You to Keep Your Nose Out Of It, Lady!

Maria is complaining to Tony about her in-laws so he arranges to have Audrey take them out for a three course meal at an Italian restaurant on his dime. He arrives at her place with some take out lunch. Maria asks if he could have their pizza poisoned but reckons he’s far too nice for that sort of thing. He is. He really is.

When the Connors come home, Ma Connor is insulted that she ate take out food.

“But I left an egg salad in the fridge for ye, ye tarrrrt!”

Eventually, they discuss the christening and Maria says she will get Liam Jr. christened, but not as a Catholic.

“But Liam would have wanted…”

“‘Liam would have wanted’ is not going to get you your own way, Helen. Besides, Liam Jr. is my son.”

“Throwin yer lot in wit the Protestants, then, are ye? Holy See’s not good enough for ye? Any religion newer than 2000 years is a cult, I says. Might as well sign him up with the Scientologists!” says Helen. Not really.

In Other News

Licensed contractor Len Windass calls Joe to say that all his kitchen counters were shite and they need to be replaced at Joe’s expense. You know that means for Joe? Pills. Joe Pills needs more pills but Graeme pills doesn’t want to pills get the pills because it’s pills illegal. But he relents pills and says he’ll see pills what he can do. Pills.

Rosie has some ideas about underwear but can’t draw. Tony suggests a PowerPoint presentation. “Inside Rosie’s Underwear from Inside Her Mind.”

Emily’s niece Freda has arrived (with freesias) and she meets Ramsay, who can sort of sign. Norris tried to fix his shoes with a screwdriver but that ended up making it worse. He eventually decides to accept Ramsay’s sneakers. Freda is also engaged with a giant black heart engagement ring. (It was cut from the CBC show but her fiance is in jail in Australia. He’s some kind of political activist and he and Freda have not met).

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About shatnerian

Former Maritimer living in the suburbs of Montreal.
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13 Responses to Update for Tuesday, May 11 2010. Every sperm is sacred

  1. barbee says:

    Finally! I’ve been missing you all. And what a great update. Don’t you love Graeme? What is Ramsay doing here? I like him and all, but does anyone see a plot developing? I wish I didn’t like Tony so much. Gorgeous (still dreaming about the ironing ep), a Scot (runs in the family), dark, knows how to wield a spurtle, and oh, so caring (well, it is limited to Maria, but, hey, she is the wife of the guy he helped murder!).
    So happy not to see sex eyes Molly. And Kevin trying hard to act himself into this lame scenario, but failing miserably (so does Molly, but I like Kevin more).
    Keep up the good work, updaters, we know it’s a labour of love, which of course depends on how much time you have.

  2. haili says:

    Amen. And LOL.

    Some characters just seem superfluous to requirements eg. Ramsay and Uncle Umed. Maybe the writers just bring them in to fill time and if they catch on, give them a story line.

    Tony is one of the characters that keeps me tuning in.

    Poor old Ashley had to go to hospital to get fixed so he could father a child, and now has to get fixed so he can’t. Claire does have a point though; do we really want to see her cracking up again with her post partum blues?

  3. Gayle says:

    Ashley is really starting to get on my nerves. The way he screamed at Josh to get his coat – why didn’t he just get the coat for the child? Poor kid.

    The last thing Claire needs is another child after the severe post-partum depression she went through last time. They also seem to be hard up for money although with Graeme working in the shop (as much as I love his character)it’s a wonder they make any profit at all.

    I am not missing Molly at all!

    What a joke Rosie is.

    I think Liam’s mother is overstepping her boundries – however she has lost two sons, a son-in-law and a grandson so she has had it kind of rough. Maria should cut her some slack. I still can understand where Maria’s parents are?

    • Bea says:

      Also, Isn’t Helen Ryan’s grandmother as well. I know that Michelle is away on tour, but Ryan is around somewhere, hanging out with Sophie and group.
      Maybe the grandparents should spend some time with Ryan and get out of Maria’s hair for a while.

  4. TracyEmm says:

    I had tears streaming down my face, and nearly pee’d my pants with laughter at the AA meeting scenes with the Barlow Clan! That was the best bit of comedy I have seen since the roof came tumbling down when Reg & Maureen Holsworth were in bed! I thought it was absolutely brilliant. What a great great loss Blanche will be to Coronation Street. Lets enjoy every single bit of her wonderful acting, as she won’t be on our screens for too much longer….. 😦 bless…

    • Barbie says:

      Me too Tracy, that’s exactly what I thought.
      And, maybe I’m being a bit mean here, but how come Clair can’t have her tubes tied?

      • TracyEmm says:

        true, but I’m not sure why this is supposed to be so shocking. I’ve got 2 daughters, and have absolutely no interest in having anymore children. I had terrible pregnancies and frankly, 2’s enough hard work! She had horrific post partumn (to say the least) so surely he can understand her position…

      • Modge says:

        If Claire just went and got her tubes tied, that would be the end of it. If she wants Ashley to do it, that sets the stage for all kinds of angst, conflict, screaming…..that’s why.

  5. Corrierules says:

    The Barlows at the AA meeting was priceless. A gem to watch.
    As for tubes being tied vs vasectomy — tubal ligation requires general anesthetic while the snip is done under “local” …so therefore there are less risks for the v.and the operation is less intrusive than tying tubes. But wouldn’t it be a hoot if Ashley gets the snip and his voice becomes deep?

  6. haili says:

    LOL. That would be funny!

    I loved the AA meeting!

    Those Connor in-laws are a real pain and have a lot of nerve expecting to run everything. It does seem odd that they don’t spend some time with Ryan. Mama Connor hated Carla and now she’s clashing with Maria over Tony. I wonder if they know about Saint Liam’s affair with Carla.

  7. missusmac says:

    Is this the same Connor mom as before? I think it’s a different actress, but not really sure. (Yes, I’m TRYING to pay attention.)

    Good point re: no Ryan visting Nanny and Grampy.

  8. Jody says:

    Yes it’s a different actress playing Connor mom.

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