Every sperm is needed in your neighbourhood
At the hospital, Claire is still insisting that Ashley get a vasectomy but Ashley avoids the subject and asks to discuss it when they get home.
Later at home, Ashley gets a call from the hospital. Claire has disappeared. He leaves Josh with Steve and he and Lloyd head to the hospital. From the parking lot, Lloyd sees Claire on the roof! Ashley races upstairs to find her staring at the city, thinking about all the people who live there, having kids, eating beans on toast, dying…
Ashley thinks she’s going to jump but she says she doesn’t want to. She explains that when she found out she lost her baby, she was relieved. She says that the baby must have sensed she didn’t want her, so she left. Claire remembers how bad her post-natal depression was with Freddy (she thought he wasn’t her, left him at the park once or twice, kinda threw him into traffic…) and she feared going through that again.
When the cops arrive, Claire panics and thinks they’re there to put her away. Ashley promises this is not the case and they walk down. Ashley explains that they’ve gone through a miscarriage and everything is fine as he will take steps to never let something like that happen again.
“You mean…?” asks Lloyd.
“That’s right, Lloyd,” he answers. “I’m getting a vasectomy!”
Liam Would Have Wanted You to Keep Your Nose Out Of It, Lady!
Maria is complaining to Tony about her in-laws so he arranges to have Audrey take them out for a three course meal at an Italian restaurant on his dime. He arrives at her place with some take out lunch. Maria asks if he could have their pizza poisoned but reckons he’s far too nice for that sort of thing. He is. He really is.
When the Connors come home, Ma Connor is insulted that she ate take out food.
“But I left an egg salad in the fridge for ye, ye tarrrrt!”
Eventually, they discuss the christening and Maria says she will get Liam Jr. christened, but not as a Catholic.
“But Liam would have wanted…”
“‘Liam would have wanted’ is not going to get you your own way, Helen. Besides, Liam Jr. is my son.”
“Throwin yer lot in wit the Protestants, then, are ye? Holy See’s not good enough for ye? Any religion newer than 2000 years is a cult, I says. Might as well sign him up with the Scientologists!” says Helen. Not really.
In Other News
Licensed contractor Len Windass calls Joe to say that all his kitchen counters were shite and they need to be replaced at Joe’s expense. You know that means for Joe? Pills. Joe Pills needs more pills but Graeme pills doesn’t want to pills get the pills because it’s pills illegal. But he relents pills and says he’ll see pills what he can do. Pills.
Rosie has some ideas about underwear but can’t draw. Tony suggests a PowerPoint presentation. “Inside Rosie’s Underwear from Inside Her Mind.”
Emily’s niece Freda has arrived (with freesias) and she meets Ramsay, who can sort of sign. Norris tried to fix his shoes with a screwdriver but that ended up making it worse. He eventually decides to accept Ramsay’s sneakers. Freda is also engaged with a giant black heart engagement ring. (It was cut from the CBC show but her fiance is in jail in Australia. He’s some kind of political activist and he and Freda have not met).