Joe is in his Krazy Kitchens van, staking out the medical centre.
Auntie Pam and Kevin chat outside the builders’ yard, about the theft of Rosie’s car. Pam mentions that Molly contacted her and is having a top notch holiday – sangrias at sunset and topless bathing. As Pam departs, Chesney shows up with Schmeikel. Kevin confronts him about taking Rosie’s car and is perplexed as to why Ches did it. Kevin thinks he did it to look cool for the chicks, which Ches denies. Kevin goes on to say that Fiz is taking the rap for it and Ches should come to the Websters’ and apologize.
Sally isn’t quite ready to accept Chesney’s apology. Ches explains he did it because he hates John Stape, wanted to drive up to the prison, fling the ring back at John and punch him in the face. Sally says this is the worst plan sh’s ever heard and thinks Rosie should decide whether or not to call the authorities. Sophie, hovering in the background, finds a box of sushi and wants to know which posh person Sally is copying by bringing sushi to work for lunch.
Eileen, Tina and Jason are at the property auction. Just as the flat comes up for auction, EIleen has to go to the loo, leaving Jason and Tina to bid. Jason waits patiently until the starting bid drops to 30,000 pounds. The bidding continues until it’s at 48, then the Grimshaws limit of 50,000. Afraid of losing the property, Jason and Tina hold on and prevail at 54,750 pounds. Eileen returns from the lav in time to gasp in shock.
Pam and Bill have moved their chat about noting in particular to the Rovers. Rosie is there, giving Luke the third degree about Michelle. She asks what Michelle has that she doesn’t. A kid and a green toothbrush, apparently. Rosie flounces off just as Tony comes in. Tony suggests to Luke that he has some kissing up to do with his jailbait girlfriend. Luke returns that at least his GF is in the country.
“What is this place?” Tony asks aloud to no one in particular, “it’s like the Village of the Damned.” The movie where everyone disappears.
Gail, meanwhile, had been running a bath for job, and becomes distraught when she discovers he has disappeared. She sees Audrey in the street, equally distressed at having broken a nail that morning. With her razor-sharp people-senses, Gail has deduced that something is seriously wrong with Joe. Audrey offers to make tea. She then tells her doormat daughter to find someone normal.
Joe is back around the corner in the van watching the medical centre. To his annoyance, Sophie is in front of the medical centre chatting on her cel. Joe watches, then breaks down in tears and begins bawling, sweating and jonesing. While a song is playing that sounds like the Barenaked Ladies but isn’t. Finally Sophie goes away.
Michelle meets Luke on the street. And, ironically, asks what Rosie has that she doesn’t. A sports car and money is the response. They agree to go have a pint.
The coast is finally clear for Joe, who lets himself in to the medical centre. Which has an alarm. Which goes off. He exits, and I’m thinkin’ hey, those alarms really DO discourage thieves…but no…he’s just going to the Krazy Kitchens van to get a sledgehammer to try and break the alarm.
Meanwhile, Gail and Audrey can hear the alarm and have a chat about how alarms always go off for no reason. Gail then decides it’s coming from the medical centre. She peeks outside, and sure enough, it is. Gail comes back in the house looking for her keys. When several seconds of searching fail to turn them up, she cries, “I’ve been robbed!” Not: “Shit, I’ve misplaced my keys, perhaps they’re in a pocket.” She has been robbed, and the bolt finally clicks into place. She rushes to the medical centre to save David Richard Nick the foot doctor Joe from himself.
Joe has failed in his attempt to silence the alarm. He is now onto plan B, which is a Visigothic ransacking of the medical centre. He takes his sledge to a locked steel cabinet after not being able to find the painkillers in any of the regular cabinets.
Gail enters the medical centre front door and sees the trashed interior and Joe, with sledgehammer, looking like a red-eyed disaster.
In other news:
Apparently Maria is coming home tomorrow, and Tony is all icky-happy.