Original Airdate: October 16, 2009
I’ll Meet You at the Cemetery Gates
It’s been a year since Liam died and Helen has done a full Irish breakfast in preparation to visit his grave.
“Come eat your breakfast, Maria. We want to get a move or the day will be half over.”
“It’s 8 o’clock,” Maria protests.
Oh, I understand now. If she can just make Maria feel guilty for eating the sausages she specifically made for her, Helen will be my mother.
Maria offers to hold baby Liam but she refuses, saying it’s been an age since she held her own Liam. Michelle arrives to do a little damage control. When Maria goes upstairs, she basically says to her mum: “You’re at 9 right now, we need you at about 4.”
Helen has an itinerary for the day and NOTHING is going to upset it.
When Maria comes back down, Helen criticizes her dress, saying it’s not black. Michelle tries to defuse the situation with humour saying to Ryan that Liam should be here to see his poncey shirt.
As they prepare to leave, Tony comes back, looking a little worse for wear. Maria suggests to the Connors that they go on ahead and she’ll catch up later.
They talk about last night, and how she thought it was best if he was absent for Helen’s sniping. He thought he was dumped but she assures him that was not the case.
When the Connors arrive back, Tony and Maria are only just leaving. Helen harumphs about thinking this was a family day. Barry just wants to go to the pub but Helen insists on making supper. Ireland, by the way, gets 10% of its electrical power from maternal guilt. It’s renewable and everything.
Still, it’s funny how a woman who’s lost two sons, a grandson, and a son in law, is still unsympathetic.
At the graveyard, Maria, Tony, and wee Liam are at big Liam’s grave. Maria talks to Liam about moving on and hoping he rests well. Later, on the anniversary of the day he murdered her husband, Tony does an appalling thing: He proposes to Maria.
And she accepts.
Somewhere, Mike Baldwin is spinning in his grave
Rosie, who still has lots of money (though it’s dwindling fast, I think), has slept with Luke, who needs lots of money. Funny how these things work out, eh?
After convincing Rosie that they’re back together, he spends a lot of time trying to convince someone to sell her share of Underworld to him. Turns out, it’s Carla, who claims she’d never set foot in Weatherfield again but may, just may, be having a change of heart.
Luke sits down with Rosie and tells her that he has a big business deal coming in that would put him in a conflict of interest with Underworld. The conversation goes like this, more or less:
Luke: I’ll need to sell and I want to you to have first refusal.
Rosie: You mean you’re not interested in Underworld anymore? And what do you want me to peruse?
Luke: No, I mean I can’t do this deal and work at Underworld. I want you to buy my share of Underworld.
Rosie: Why would I want to share your underwear?
Luke: No, the part of Underworld I own can be sold to you.
Rosie: I have a share of Underworld.
Luke: Yes, and if you buy my share, you’ll have more.
Rosie: (tries to count on her fingers)
Luke: You’ll own 51%.
Rosie: Is that a lot? That’s a lot, isn’t it?
Luke (slowly and loudly): I SELL YOU MY BUSINESS. YOU GIVE ME MONEY. YOU BE BOSS NOW.
Rosie (claps her hands excitedly): SQUEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
And this happened:
Lloyd and Liz, yeah that’s not happening. But somehow Uncle Umed has convinced Theresa to provide her famous curry for the kebab shop in some kind of side deal under Dev’s nose.
Theresa’s curry joins Eddie Windass’s baking as the latest entry in the Corrie trend of Implausibly Good Food Made by Unspeakably Dirty People.