Update for Wednesday Aug. 11: Ode To A Muderer

In the street, Joe is sanding, but that’s about all
Carla enters the factory, still standing tall.
Tony isn’t about, the room empty and hollow,
So she turns on her heels, and she leaves, but is followed.

In the meantime the clan has come home from the church,
And Tony sneaks off, leaving them in the lurch.
Carla’s ringing his mobile, apparently pissed,
And rebooks at the flat, as their meeting was missed.

Trying to finish the job, Jimmy hunkers outside
And by now he’s regretful that Liam has died
For the cleanup is messy, and soon to get worse
He’s determined that Carla will leave in a hearse.

Tony hangs out at home, warming bottles and such
And decides offing Carla is really too much.
Says he’s needing a drink, to help dull the day’s pain,
And he drives like a maniac off in the rain.

Carla’s flat is now dark, and a predator waits
But he can’t work the keys, so he buzzes the gates.
In the flat he sees Carla, all cleaned up and showered
She faces him down, never has been a coward.

“He was roadkill,” spits Jimmy, about Liam’s death,
“And I don’t give a toss if I took his last breath.
And you need to be silenced, and thus I am here
And I’ll clean up my mess and will kill you, my dear!”

Then a scuffle ensues with the murderous prick,
Carla knocking out Jim with a huge candle-stick.
As he flops to the floor, seeming devoid of life,
Tony Eyeball bursts in, trying to save his ex-wife.

But the sly, slimy Scotsman can see in a wink,
Here’s a chance to best Carla, with no time to think.
“Well he’s dead,” he says smoothly, “And you are to blame,
So a deal we shall make, and an end to this game.”

“Get yourself out of here, I will clean up your mess,
There will be no more body, no deed to confess.
This will make the score even, you’ll haunt me no more,”
And she left, leaving Tony the lump on the floor.

But the lump was alive, with a headache no doubt,
And relieved of the option that Tony worked out.
And as Carla is driving away in the rain,
Tony Gordon has bested his foe once again.


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About t. kunzie

Toni Kunz is a female soccer trainer in a mens' world, graphic designer and aspiring writer. She lives and works in Toronto.
This entry was posted in Coronation Street Updates and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to Update for Wednesday Aug. 11: Ode To A Muderer

  1. David Raetsen says:

    Bravo! That one’s a keeper.

  2. haili says:

    Twas the night before Halloween? Great rhyming!

    It seemed fake to me that Carla would just take off instead of pleading self-defense. And it seems too good to be true that she’s actually gone. Tony really is conflicted. He wants to be ruthless but deep down has soft spots for Carla and Maria.

    • corrierules says:

      Tony loves Maria, with her he feels nurtured, safe and very much in charge. She looks up to him. But he is passionate about Carla, he can’t think straight when it comes to her. He knows and knew he can’t have her… and he always wants what he can’t have.

      On a side note, I had to laugh when maria announced their engagement to her friends. Fiz just about jumped for joy.. you could almost see the little thought balloon over her head; “Thank God! Maybe now people will focus on Maria and Tony and forget about me and John!”

  3. jacqui583 says:

    Well done!

  4. Barbie says:

    That was freaking amazing Kunzie

  5. Long Time Lurker says:

    Fess up folks – who else ROTFLOL when Kirk accused Tyrone of being “doggy whipped” in Friday’s episode? Too funny!

  6. haili says:

    For a dumb guy Kirk is pretty perceptive! I just wish Tyrone would stand up to Molly for a change.

  7. Gayle says:

    I agree I have never really warmed up to Molly. I think she treats Tyrone like dirt.
    I hope they get caught the sooner the better. I’m starting to dislike Kevin as well.

  8. S. Poole says:

    bloody brilliant!

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