Tony slumps beside the Kabin and Ozzy sits nearby until fireworks frighten off the dog. Roy Cropper ambles by, sees Underworld’s door open, and then spies Tony, asking if he is alright. “It’s my heart,” Tony explains. Roy gets Tony’s phone and calls for an ambulance.
The ambulance arrives in the street and the paramedics are attending to Tony, who seems oddly disinterested in his own fate. He asks Roy not to leave him.
Tony, whose age is apparently 38, is wheeled into emergency. Roy is left waiting in the, er, waiting room. He calls Fiz, who tries to reach Maria in Cyprus. The doctor emerges to say that Tony has had a massive heart attack, and has a long history of heart disease in the family. The doctor suggests that Tony may not live long and is seriously ill. Well, who the frick knew??? In any case, he wants to see Roy.
Tony is in a hospital bed full of tubes, and explains that his dad was 39 and his grandfather 42 when they passed away from heart attack. He has asked for Roy but is being rather nasty to his bedside companion, saying he’s rather it was anyone other than Roy. Tony bemoans the fact that he’s had a coronary despite never eating one of Roy’s greasy breakfasts.
Roy fills time by explaining what his bat society gets up to…hanging around watching bats, informing the authorities about roosts, etc. Tony tells him that he is a useless man shuffling about in his anorak watching bats. He’s pissed off that Roy found him and wishes he died outside the factory. Tony has had enough of Roy and tells him to shut up and go home. And that he himself is going straight to hell. And that hell is spending your last hours with Roy Cropper whittering in your ear, and tells him to bog-off back to his man-wife.
Roy thinks this is all part and parcel of the illness, so doesn’t take tons of offense, but gets up to leave.
Tony asks for Roy to come back and apologizes and says he gets a bit grouchy when he’s dying. He thanks Roy for saving him. Tony says he thinks the worst is over…the drugs have kicked in. “You may not be a priest Roy Cropper,” says Tony, “but you’re the best I have…”
In the Rovers, Pam gives Tyrone a bag of trick-or-treats for the kiddies. Jake the builder waltzes into the bar wearing nothing but a towel. Liz and Michelle are totally into it and pretending they aren’t. Jake decides that it’s only fair that since he saw Michelle in and out of a towel, he owes her same. Kelly and Julie are hysterical with anticipation. After a quick flash, Michelle admits she might have over-reacted before. Jake says she’ll have to have dinner with him, to prove she has truly forgiven him. Liz eagerly gives her the night off.
Michelle reluctantly agrees to go (on a date with a hot bloke who worships the ground she walks on) claiming she wants the dinner “over with”. Whatever sister.
Later, Jake is waiting for Michelle at her apartment, playing video games with Ryan and Ben. And winning. Michelle comes out, looking drop-dead super-hot and tells Jake he looks decent, meaning drop-dead super-hot.
In the darkened Dev’s store Kevin and Molly are talking. Molly says she can’t bear the way Pam looks at her. They hatch a plot to pretend the relationship is over….steer clear of one another for a while and then start up again but be really careful. Molly points out she will have to lie to Pam. Kevin says he’s getting really good at that.
Later, Pam comes in to Dev’s and Molly tells her that Kevin has dumped her. It’s over. She claims to love Tyrone. Whatever, Molly.
Peter and Leanne arrive home, Peter explaining that he doesn’t want Simon to go trick-or-treating because it isn’t British. He’s anti-trick-or-treating. They remark on naked Jake leaving the bar and see the ambulance roaring by as Peter comments, “See what I mean? Hallowe’en always ends in tears for somebody.”
Peter, Leanne and Simon eat dinner. Leanne says the job hunt is going poorly, and Peter offers her the bookie job for the umpteenth time. Simon is amazed that his dad used to drive submarines. Or at least say, ‘Up Periscope’.