Update for Wednesday, Aug. 25: Clones, Conspiracies and Crack Hoes

Where The Good Have Evil Haircuts

The show opens with Roy distractedly sweeping the sidewalk in front of the Cafe as he ponders the suffocating weight of Topless Tony’s deathbed confession. Hailey comes out and encourages him to “let it go.”

“The past is a foreign country – they do things differently there,” replies Roy profoundly. He wishes he could pretend the confession hadn’t happened, but it has. Hailey tries to offer an analogy about a drunk friend’s confession in Africa, but it doesn’t hold much water for Roy.

At the hospital, Tony’s cute female doctor tells him he’s ready to be discharged. He flirts rather overtly with her, but the doc doesn’t appreciate it.

Maria comes into the Kabin with some flowers for Roy. She thanks him again, and says that Tony has returned home. Roy rejects the flowers, as his conscience is a very linear one. Hailey accepts them however. Maria also says that Tony has requested an audience with Hailey. Like, now.

Hailey sits rather nervously in Tony’s living room, wondering what the hell he wants.  Tony says that his illness made him aware of a need for a strong manager at the factory, and offers Hailey a job as relief manager.

Hailey returns to the Cafe and shares with Roy that Tony has offered her a very good wage. “How much Hailey,” says Roy, “for your soul?

Hailey is now pissed off and wants to hear no more about Roy’s silly conspiracies.

Roy turns up at Tony and Maria’s for a showdown. Tony sends Maria off on a walk so he can chat with Roy privately. Maria leaves and Roy states that it’s his belief Tony told him the truth: that Tony mudered Liam, and the stress of the guilt caused Tony’s heart attack. Tony does not deny the accusation. He offers Roy the phone, doing the “go ahead, call the cops,” thing.

Where The Broke and Twitchy Have Sailboats

At the Platt’s, Joe is belting out an excruciating rendition of ‘Walking on Sunshine’, such is his delight that Gail has said he can keep the boat. He gushes that he won the lottery the day he met Gail, quoting The Pet Shop Boys. Ted has come in , and reminds Joe that there is no ‘The’ in ‘Pet Shop Boys’ ()it’s a gay thing.

The family goes off to work and breakfast, and Maria meets Joe, Gail and Ted in the street. Ted shares that she should cherish every moment, as Ted did with Louis James. Today is the anniversary of his partner’s death. He said the loss never gets easier, just different.

Joe and Ted have brekky, and Joe says he wants to do something sweeping and romantic for Gail to thank her for being such a good doormat.

Ted returns home and he and David talk in the living room about whatever surprise Joe is hatching for Gail. David is sympathetic that it’s the anniversary of Ted’s partner dying. He says that he still doesn’t trust Joe.

Joe meets Gail outside the Medical Centre, saying he has a sooper-dooper big surprise for her, she’s to go home and he’ll text her when he’s ready.

Where Two Sweater Vests Are Better Than One

The Norris and Horace Show

Norris is in the Kabin, when his latest interviewee turns up. Norris Cole, meet Horace Steele. Not only is it like looking in a mirror, we soon discover that these two are virtual clones in argyle. They begin to flatter one another immediately, even though Norris wants to be called “Mr. Cole”. The back and forth banter reveals that they share the same sense of humour. Horace is hired instantly. “You won’t regret this Mr. Cole,” says Horace cheerfully, “I’m one of a kind, me!”

Graham wanders in then, just as they are chatting about moss coming up between Norris’ patio stones. Graham sagely advises that he go to the garden store and ask for a “crack hoe”. To tell them he needs to get his hands on a “crack hoe.”

Later, Norris confronts Graham in the street cleaning Emily’s windows, furious that he has been made a fool of, by asking for a “crack hoe” at the DIY shop.

And This Happened

Ken comes into the bookies to extend an olive branch, offering to give Simon his tea. Peter and Leanne bluster about for a bit and then reveal that Simon’s “other grandad” is having tea with him.

Ken returns later, to ask more about George the new Grandad. He offers to host dinner for them all and let George meet the rest of the family.

In the Rover’s, Tyrone is chatting to an uninterested Molly. Tyrone thinks his uncle Joey invented the white lines in the middle of the road…but wonders why he isn’t mentioned in the history books. Jack and Connie turn up. Jack is perturbed about something.

As the Dobbs’, Jack and Connie leave the pub, Jack decides to hang back a bit and talk to Tyrone about whatever is bugging him.

About t. kunzie

Toni Kunz is a female soccer trainer in a mens' world, graphic designer and aspiring writer. She lives and works in Toronto.
This entry was posted in Coronation Street Updates and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Update for Wednesday, Aug. 25: Clones, Conspiracies and Crack Hoes

  1. Bea says:

    Crack hoe – omg, I thought I would choke laughing. That Graham is a crazy guy!

  2. haili says:

    That was funny. I kind of hope Horace stays.

  3. Nicole says:

    Every time I look at Horace, all I can see is the resemblance to Buster Bluth from Arrested Development. I keep expecting “I’m going to war, Mother” to come out of his mouth.

  4. isis says:

    Did I miss something?

    When did Norris fire the mute??

  5. haili says:

    I don’t think we actually get to see those firings. Maybe the scenes are cut or maybe we’re just supposed to imagine it happened.

  6. corrierules says:

    Loved Horace and Norris! Especially loved when Norris morphed into Rita and said “Can we have a chat in the back please.” He was standing there holding his teacup and it reminded me so much of the many times Rita has had to say that to Norris!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s