‘Twas the night before Christmas on Corrie this year,
And a panto is staged to fill all with good cheer.
Claire is poor Cinderella, and plays a good part,
Sean and Jesse her sisters, like transgendered tarts.
Enter Graham, as Buttons, on vodka and pills,
Fairy Godmother Betty, in wrinkles and frills.
Cinder goes to the Ball, where she meets her prince Steve
Becky’s good for a laugh, with some jokes up her sleeve.
But the scene of the night was with Amy, so sweet,
Set to sing a wee song to the whole of the street.
But the wee mite froze up, her mind all in a whirl,
So she blurts out a curse that would make your hair curl.
Was it sh*t? Was it f*ck? I’m not sure, to be blunt
But I think it was worse, like co*ks***er, or c*nt.
To a round of applause, the play finally is over;
Cast and crew settle in for some drinks at the Rovers.
Other news to report – Rosie’s birthday was cheered
Sally isn’t herself – acting distant and weird.
Molly wants to bin Kevin, she’s pissed off and jealous
Nick is back on the street, giving Tina two fellas
So concludes this update; there is no more to write,
Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!