UK Time – Monday February 22nd 2010 – Episode I
The show opens with Gail looking like an idiot in the medical centre grabbing for the phone like a woman hoping to hear from her moron husband who has decided to fake his own death in order to escape the pressures of a loan shark since calling the police just wont do and hasn’t contacted his wife since the day he decided to vanish like a brain injured Kaiser Soze. Oh yeah, that is exactly what she is.
Over at Jason and Tina’s flat Tina is also grabbing at her phone like the daughter of a moron who has decided to fake his own death in order to escape the pressures of a loan shark since calling the police just wont do and has only suspiciously contacted his daughter once since the day left for the lake district with a boat named after an idiot. Oh yeah, that is exactly what she is.
In Gail’s case it was just a patient. In Tina’s case it was a sales person who get’s an earful, although for Tina that is just her standard level of communication. It must be exhausting to be her. Tina hangs up and calls her father again and leaves a very stern message. Hi, Tina, here’s a little suggestion from me: you should have called the police days ago when Gail first told you the stupid plan. Your dad is just dumb, and Gail is a fool. Do you really think everything is going to magically turn out?
Back in the medical centre where, as we can see, Gail is NOT getting her head tested, David comes in to beg his mother to call the police. She blinks that suggestion away and convinces David not to call the police either. All you mothers of young men out there watching; learn from Gail. When you are helping someone commit a federal offense, it is best to involve your son … who has a record already. Be sure to carpet bomb the culpability.
As it is Monday afternoon, Tina makes her way over to the medical centre to tell Gail that since she hasn’t heard from her dad, she is going to call the police. Gail convinces her to not tell the police about the plan. Tina agrees although that makes absolutely no sense. Tina then begins to wonder if Gail has been perfectly honest. Um, no. Then she lies again when Tina asks her about the text and flowers.
Later in the day Gail goes rushing out of the medical centre with Audrey. She assumes that Tina has called the police and actually has the nerve to look upset about it. When she walks in two plain clothed police offices are standing with David and Gail makes it difficult to deliver the following news with any patience: “We found your div of a husband’s body in the lake.”
Obviously, she is gob-smacked. Obviously, I want to smack her in the gob.
Tyrone is still a mess because Molly has left him. Dude, you have no idea. When he goes to work for the day Kevin tells him to take the afternoon off. It is really good of Kevin especially since he’s been banging that cow and has really contributed to Tyrone’s current state of grief. Mind you, I would submit that a life with Molly would be full of grief. She is kind of a nasty so-and-so and if she didn’t leave you at Christmas hoping to be with Kevin, she’d leave you at Easter if Keiran looked at her twice (as would I, that dude, that accent, that talent in the kitchen. Yes please).
In the pub Kevin, Jack and Connie are talking about Tyrone and Molly. The three of them are worried about Tyrone. I can’t help but think that perhaps Kevin should have though about Tyrone when we was tapping his wife in motels, removal vans, offices and in his marital bed. Connie says that men have a hard time on their own, yeesh!
We get confirmation of this when Jack and Connie go to Tyrone’s and the place is a mess. It may be 2010 here in Canada, but the men of Coronation Street have never learned to do the dishes or laundry. Amazingly Connie pushed Jack and Tyrone out the door so she can clean up. I would have made Tyrone clean with me to show him that he can stand up on his own.
Janice obviously loves Trevor and who could blame her. He’s a towering mass of man and that’s right up my street. He’s a
Anyway, on the way to work there is some Carla bashing and Trevor enjoys that. They are bashing Carla because she is a bit over the top and does things that are irritating. For example, she makes Sean choose who will do the cleaning because the regular cleaners aren’t available. He picks Kelly.
At lunchtime they all run out and Carla spots a mess on the floor. So, she gets down on her hands and knees to clean it up wearing a green pinny and yellow gloves. In pops Trevor looking for Janice. He obviously looks like a god dropped down from Mount Olympus from that angle. Mistaking Carla for the cleaner, he tells her that he is looking for Janice because he found two kittens on his route and wants to keep them as pets. COME ON, WRITERS! Was his next line gonna be “And, I’ve made her a cake for her birthday.”? No, in fact, his next line was “Tell Janice I’ve fixed the tap.” EVEN BETTER!
In Other News
Norris and Mary are way too interested in Audrey’s new man. Norris recognizes him from the Christmas do and floats the idea that he is married. Wow, is Norris off the mark!
Sunita, obviously missing Dev, comes into the shop to flirt with him. After she leaves Dev says to Molly, “I don’t even know what’s real anymore.” For some reason, the delivery of this line made me laugh out loud. But, guess who showed up on Sunita’s doorstep: Matt.
I felt badly for earlier calling Gary’s army buddy “duchebag friend.” Ducebag Friend’s brother lost his legs in Iraq. Worried now, Gary?