Somewhere, deep in terrifying Brontë country, Norris is awakened to the sounds of Mary chopping wood, and she’s making more noise than Monica Seles returning a volley as she does so.
Later, he attempts to go for a walk but is caught by Mary, who is cooking him a kedgeree for breakfast. He agrees to have breakfast first. Later, as Mary is in the bath, singing to her puppet (not a euphemism), Norris sneaks out with his suitcase and finds an old red phone booth in a field somewhere where he attempts to call Rita collect. Before he can talk to her, however, he sees Mary’s camper van bearing down on him like a big bearing down thing.
He tries to escape but trips over a fence and sprains his ankle. Back at the cottage, Norris has his ankle bandaged up. Mary brings him a hot cocoa with about 47 marshmallows in it. Mary confesses to him that she could not sleep for the pain of his rejection and how he must hate her. Norris admits that he doesn’t hate but really, isn’t time they just chalk this all up to experience and head home?
“Home,” Mary says. “You say that as though it’s our home. You and I together. Mrs. Norris Cole!”
You’re In The Army Now
Outside Chez Windass, Eddie is on the phone with someone (Gary’s CO, presumably). He complains to Anna that the real reason that Gary doesn’t want to go back to the army is that he’s work shy.
“He gets it from his Uncle Len!” he says.
Anna gets Gary to have breakfast before he goes off. She tries to give him money before he goes off but he knocks it out of her hand and starts crying, calling himself a coward because he ran away from the army after seeing Quinny’s brother who lost his limbs in Afghanistan.
Eventually, the Sergeant-Major shows up to, I dunno, take Gary back and Gary agrees to go back to
marching up and down the square preparing to deploy to Afghanistan.
In Other News
Tina does not want to eat because she want to live. Graeme is slowly getting her to eat again by sneaking bacon butties up to her apartment. He is also planning to move in with David, much to Nick’s dismay. Graeme assures Nick that the move has nothing to do with his stalking of Natasha (whose name, he notes, is “ah, satan” backwards). That he will do on his own time.
Graeme and David also tried unsuccessfully to fix a shelf in the Kabin before calling Bill Webster.