Friends, I have written an update. The steady, stable update that we need in these fragile economic times.
“On Coronation Street, John Stape is John Stape. But at school, he’s Colin Fishwick. What happens when someone from school comes to Coronation Street? That, my friends, is a hashtag fail! The voters simply cannot trust John Stape. And that’s why my party seeks your support on May 2nd.”
Fiz talks to John and asks him to meet him at Roy’s later as they need to discuss Chesney. Little do they know but Charlotte, Colin’s loopy friend has taken three buses to see John. But first she sees Rosie Webster and they have a discussion about the tightness of her top. When she spots John, she pulls him into the Rovers and tells him they need to talk.
When they get there, she tells him that their mutual friend has written to say he’s coming home. John texts Fiz and lies to her to say he’s delayed at work.
Seeing that she’s bored, Roy offers her his history of the Peloponnesian War.
“Roy Cropper says he’s English and yet he spends his time reading of foreign wars. Voters need a leader who’ll lead England and not Peloponnesia. On May 2nd, we ask for your support.”
Charlotte clarifies what she meant by Colin writing her. He updated Facebook and said that he missed home, finding Canada “austere”. Where is he? Inuvik? Also, he was disappointed that Kim Catrall no longer lives here.
It doesn’t get much better for John when Fiz sees Rosie in the cafe and Rosie proceeds to tell her that John is in the pub with another woman. When she gets there, she finds Charlotte and John in a booth and Charlotte hints that she’s having an affair with John.
Charlotte assures her that their secret is safe with her. But Fiz is truly peeved at how bizarre her life has become.
“If she blows this secret our whole lives are going to be in smithereens. Nice one John, back of the net!”
“Tina McIntyre claims she loves Jason Grimshaw but she seems awfully friendly with Graeme Proctor. Is Tina planning some kind of coalition? Is this what voters want? On May 2nd, vote for our party!”
Long story short
Tina dumps Jason. Tina’s getting chummy with Graeme. Wassup with that?
Peter and Leanne make up and he realizes that he was a wozzock to believe there was anything between her and her former husband.
Speed dating night is on and Cheryl would like an excuse to meet Lloyd. She also pronounces her name with a hard ‘CH’ sound, like ‘church’. Funny, I always pronounce the ‘CH’ like the ‘CH’ in ‘Challa bread’.
Ciaran’s excited too but will it be enough to drag him away from the telephone affair he’s having with Michelle’s mum in Ireland?