Update for Tuesday, April 12, 2010. The Great Debate Update

Friends, I have written an update. The steady, stable update that we need in these fragile economic times.

“On Coronation Street, John Stape is John Stape. But at school, he’s Colin Fishwick. What happens when someone from school comes to Coronation Street? That, my friends, is a hashtag fail! The voters simply cannot trust John Stape. And that’s why my party seeks your support on May 2nd.”

Fiz talks to John and asks him to meet him at Roy’s later as they need to discuss Chesney.  Little do they know but Charlotte, Colin’s loopy friend has taken three buses to see John. But first she sees Rosie Webster and they have a discussion about the tightness of her top. When she spots John, she pulls him into the Rovers and tells him they need to talk.

When they get there, she tells him that their mutual friend has written to say he’s coming home. John texts Fiz and lies to her to say he’s delayed at work.

Seeing that she’s bored, Roy offers her his history of the Peloponnesian War.

Roy Cropper says he’s English and yet he spends his time reading of foreign wars. Voters need a leader who’ll lead England and not Peloponnesia. On May 2nd, we ask for your support.”

Charlotte clarifies what she meant by Colin writing her. He updated Facebook and said that he missed home, finding Canada “austere”. Where is he? Inuvik? Also, he was disappointed that Kim Catrall no longer lives here.

It doesn’t get much better for John when Fiz sees Rosie in the cafe and Rosie proceeds to tell her that John is in the pub with another woman. When she gets there, she finds Charlotte and John in a booth and Charlotte hints that she’s having an affair with John.

Charlotte assures her that their secret is safe with her. But Fiz is truly peeved at how bizarre her life has become.


“If she blows this secret our whole lives are going to be in smithereens. Nice one John, back of the net!”

“Tina McIntyre claims she loves Jason Grimshaw but she seems awfully friendly with Graeme Proctor. Is Tina planning some kind of coalition? Is this what voters want? On May 2nd, vote for our party!”

Long story short

Tina dumps Jason. Tina’s getting chummy with Graeme. Wassup with that?

Peter and Leanne make up and he realizes that he was a wozzock to believe there was anything between her and her former husband.

Speed dating night is on and Cheryl would like an excuse to meet Lloyd. She also pronounces her name with a hard ‘CH’ sound, like ‘church’. Funny, I always pronounce the ‘CH’ like the ‘CH’ in ‘Challa bread’.

Ciaran’s excited too but will it be enough to drag him away from the telephone affair he’s having with Michelle’s mum in Ireland?






About John

Former Maritimer living in the suburbs of Montreal.
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9 Responses to Update for Tuesday, April 12, 2010. The Great Debate Update

  1. Mary Prankster says:

    OK John. You’ve got my support!

  2. Trudy says:

    I’m still ticked that they are having an election on my birthday! I mean – it is all about ME……they didn’t even consult me on this……

    BTW – thanks again John for a cracking update.

    • Long Time Lurker says:

      Continuing Trudy’s “it’s all about ME” theme – I’m ticked that my Corrie namesake Charlotte is a middle-aged, frumpy nutbar … then again, maybe they’re not too far off the mark 😉

  3. eps says:

    And from me, Thank you John for your consistent updates peppered with wit and creativity.

    Finally, I have managed to see a full episode broadcast during the afternoon (Thursday) due to the hockey playoffs. Yet another reason why I am not enamored of hockey. Now, were it curling…
    Really Stape, did you not think it risky to go to a conference using another’s name? Your consistent poor judgement and narcissism is truly stunning. You are a match for David, Tracy, Peter… what a street.

    Am I to surmise that there is an impending election in the offing in Canada?

    • Bea says:

      John Stape is such an idiot! I mean, Charlotte asked him right out, “are you using Colin’s name just for the conference or for what?” Any sane person would have said something like, “oh, yes I can’t teach, but I just wanted to crash the conference” or something like that. But, alas that would have been the end of it, and that’s not Corrie, is it.

  4. Mary Prankster says:

    John is just pathetic. He’s willing to risk returning to jail & losing his marriage just for the momentary gratification of reaching the occasional impressionable young mind with some literary insight. Is his ego really that screwed up? I can see that it’s more exciting than serving meals at Roy’s, but c’mon! Teaching is not the only way to feel fulfilled.
    Actually, I think the writers sometimes get an idea for a story-line, then see if they can make the psychological reasoning fit the profile of the character. Lately I find myself thinking, “—— would never say or do that! ” or “That’s just ridiculous!” – a lot!

    John, very impressive photo-shop-ing!

  5. missusmac says:

    I too am peeved at how bizarre Fizz’ s life has become! And that brilliant student Chesney is now on Rosie Webster’s level.

    Speaking of bizarre: Charlotte.

    ’nuff said.

    John, wonderful funny update as always. Thank you so much for providing it. You have my vote.

  6. haili says:

    We should all be thankful that our election campaigns are mercifully short – compared to the U.S. Too bad they occur so often.

    Why is it that intelligent people who are very smart at school have no common sense? I’ve seen that a few times with teachers and we’ve all heard about absent minded professors. Stapes and Rosie seem to be in that category though I always thought Chesney would be different. A lot of smart people do drop out of school and do well in business so maybe he will do OK. There are a few of them in my family.

  7. Long Time Lurker says:

    Great update, John, as always.
    I fear that Graeme may be “transition man” and will get his heart broken. I guess his only consulation would be that he could then join the Jason/David “We Got Dumped by Tina Club”.

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