Corrie Standard Time: February 18, 2011. 8 months, 7 days behind.
Well, that was quite a wedding. Divorce papers served and a public haranguing of the woman who cuckholded Peter and all those enabled said cuckholding. A poor wickle Simon in his wickle suit didn’t get to read his wickle speech. I hope the priest still got his money for showing up.
I swear the show’s name should be changed from Coronation Street to Things Peter and Leanne Did To Make Simon Barlow Cry. But then, Coronation Street is a place of disappointed children.
The day after, Peter got a lot of that rage out of his system by threatening a sniveling Nick Tilsey with murder but ultimately, allowing him to live but virtue of the fact that he did save his life that one time on the night of the tram crash. Normal service, by the way, has been resumed. Fortunately the repair work on the tram line was not tendered to a Montreal-based company. We’d still be waiting for the announcement of the intent to create a study to examine the cost of repairing the damaged rail line.
Leanne is planning to move to London to be with Toyah, who is the most frequently mentioned absent family member on the show. I often forget that Eileen and Gail had other children, for example. Or that Kevin has a sister.
Janice pleads with her not to go. She curiously has become one of the street’s more sympathetic characters. I think I decided I liked her on the night of the tram crash when she ran up to Ken Barlow and excitedly told him they were about to become related (through their children’s marriage).
For his part, Ken also pleads with Leanne to reconsider moving as he sees that Peter needs her and if they can’t reconcile, she can at least be in his orbit, for Simon’s sake.
But Peter is having none of it. He stuffs her things in garbage bags, tells her she can’t see Simon, and makes her give back the keys. Simon comes back from the dentist and she tearfully explains to him she messed things up with Peter and she has to go away.
“But you didn’t mess things up with me!” Simon protests. And when Peter comes, he turns against her, “You’re not a proper mum anyway!”
Wearing her fetching red hat, she gives up pleading with Peter for another chance. After enduring rejection from Simon, a public humiliation in church, an earlier one in which her call-girl job was revealed, and just being Les Battersby’s daughter, Leanne elevates herself to the role of Classic Coronation Street Tragic Heroine. She gets into the cab with Lloyd and is driven to the station to catch that train down to London Euston.
Ken finally does get through to Peter and when Simon says he wants to apologise to Leanne. Peter says maybe they can go together. He gets Lloyd to drive him and even Lloyd encourages him to patch things up. Suddenly the cab stalls and Peter says he’ll grab a black cab. Lloyd says he was just seeing if he was serious, starts the car and hightails it to the train station.
When Peter gets there, the train has pulled from the station. He just missed it. But there’s Leanne.
“I couldn’t get on that train,” she says.
Steve,Becky, and Max are back from Spain and Steve is giving his marching orders from Becky to ensure Tracy is sacked at the Rovers.
Becky asks Lloyd (who’s also been working there) how bad is business with her behind the bar. He says she actually performed well.
“I swear on Levi Stubbs’s Tears,” he tells her. “She was almost….human.”
And that expression is now my New Favourite Thing Ever.
And she’s still working there as Steve’s still afraid she’ll report them for buying Max.
Tina suddenly has a new bessie mate that nobody’s ever met before named Xin, a pretty girl who’s recently arrived from overseas, works at a Chinese buffet that one would hope is better than Beijing Beijing in Galashiels, Scotland which I can confidently say is the worst Chinese buffet I have ever had. Anyway, she’s having trouble finding work in her field of study (pharma-something or other, I didn’t catch it) and behind in the rent so Tina and Graeme offer the spare room in the flat they’re renting from Dev. Dev says no. Then Dev says yes but at £200 per month extra. Can you do that? I think there are some renter’s laws that are curiously specific to Weatherfield. Also, the colour red and the number 8 are lucky in Chinese culture but the lucky key chain Xin had made didn’t work out so she took off on the bus, worried that she’s gone and caused trouble between Tina and Graeme and their landlord.
Sally has asked Kevin for his helping with Sophie, who has been expelled from college for failing to do the coursework. Sunita, meanwhile, is taking on Rita’s usual role as confidant and counsellor for Sophie.
The cornershop is almost rebuilt and Sunita is putting on a brave face but she clearly hasn’t overcome the trauma of the Tram Crash.
Nick claims he’s off to Milan for business but why do I have a feeling that, like a bad smell or Sarah Palin, he’s just never going to go away and leave us in peace.
This episode would have been improved with 15% more Julie Carp.