Update for the week ending October 26, 2012. They Call Me Mr. Pitiful

This week Deirdre relented with Ken and allowed that he could stay on in his role at Bessie Street school, so long as there is no hanky panky between him and Wendy Papadopolous. Will Ken stray again? One never knows with him but as Emily asked, “Does that man never learn?”

But Deirdre and Julie had a nice time slagging Wendy off at the Bessie Street School “Fayre.”

Jenna’s been frosty to her mum all week because she’s been staying with Lloyd. For his part, Lloyd admitted to Mandi that he always had a thing for her but she shot him down pretty quick. In the end, the three began to work things out.

But man, Lloyd dreams of Mandi like Barack dreams of Michelle.

Not so well worked out was Steve’s solution for Tracy and Ryan when his attempt to pay for Tracy’s abortion fell through. Michelle was getting pretty stressed about it and Tracy and Ryan concocted a plan to move to Glasgow as they didn’t follow my suggestion to move to an oil rig in the North Atlantic. Not sure how that’s going to work. Tracy quit the kebab shop for fear of exposing her baby to the meat but if Glasgow’s anything like I remember, her baby is going to have to survive on nothing but deep fried haggis and vodka-infused Irn-Bru.

Steve’s big plan? “You all can stay with Michelle and me!”

But is Tracy actually pregnant? I dunno. But it’s par for the course for her. She doesn’t think. She plots.

Kylie’s got the bad feels this week about her like of cash or training to get cash but it’s not clear what solution will present itself.

Audrey returned from France sans Lewis who jumped off the train in Lille. It was all a big mystery until a lady named Penny showed up and explained that she too was on that train and Lewis (or Hugh as he was known to her) made a run for it when he saw her. You see, back in the day she and he were engaged until 10,000 disappeared from her account, along with “Hugh.” So has Lewis truly changed his spots and was his name with Penny Hugh E. Lewis? And does Audrey have any money left? And why was Lewis skulking about in that expensive car?

The Rovers first and last B&B guest said Gloria had nothing to fear about their level of service but they should be on the lookout for a mystery drinker who will be in the guise of an ordinary person off the street.

I think I very much would have liked to have gone to Mary’s Russian Night at Roy’s.

See you next week!