The week started off with Marcus doing a very confused walk of shame after spending the night with Maria.
Marcus, for his part, didn’t want to face up to the realization that his toast may be buttered on both sides these days (is that crude? I don’t mean to be crude) so he quickly made up with Aidan, made plans to go off to London with him, and told Maria that he never wanted to see her again. Well, Strombo was right. It was heartbreaking.
Fortunately for this new odd couple, it only lasted one episode and they soon reconfirmed their love for each and soon were back in bed.
Then Maria told Jason that she had been “doing a lot of thinking” and dumped him.
Kirk complained that he was kept up all night from the noise coming from her room with all the thinking she was doing with Marcus.
Sean, who was told by Aidan he and Marcus split up because Marcus was in love with Sean. Well, talk about your crossed wires. Sean, of course, went out and bought a banner to hang at Underworld reading “Marcus and I are Back Together!” Before long, however, Marcus set him straight (don’t say it!) when he walked in on him and Marcia in an embrace.
Sean accused Marcus of being ashamed to be gay but promised to keep quiet. However, when he and a very drunk Jason met to commiserate in the Rovers and Marcus and Maria came in, the truth came out.
Jason attacked Marcus (and giving actor Charlie Condou a concussion during the filming), claiming “You love Kylie Minogue and Canal St. You DO NOT LOVE HER!” Silly Jason. Marcus is a Céline man.
And so, as so often happens on this show, the truth of Maria and Marcus comes out in the Rovers.
Gail and Audrey were confused (“Does this mean he’s bisexual?”) but not unsympathetic given that Gail’s dad is gay.
In other news, Steve is jealous of Rob, whom he sees as his fitter, better looking, more successful rival for Michelle’s affections.
Even though Mandi tried to reassure him that it’s Steve that Michelle loves, he was undeterred and made a cock-up of the pub football game which they lost to Carole Evans’ squad from the Weathie Arms. If that wasn’t enough, he then locked Rob in the back of the van, forcing him to miss an important business meeting with an Important Businessman straight from Central Casting.
Kirsty has been giving day passes to Tyrone so he can go drinking with Dev and not so she can look like she’s controlling him. Fizz has been taking an interest out of concern for her friend (and, briefly, boyfriend) and Kirsty is, again, getting jealous and insecure. The stars seem to be aligning for Fizz and Ty but there is a Kirsty sized obstacle in their way.
And Tina is now officially carrying Baby Windass-Armstrong. Tommy? Still not on board but that train has left the station, I’m afraid, Tommy.