Hi all! Me again. John was away this week, still enjoying sunnier climes. I’m afraid I don’t have a parenthetically relevant music video to post this week, because I couldn’t find a song that matched thematically with “surprise I’ve been perjuring myself all along and am going to dramatically admit to everything in open court.” Instead, here’s a picture to represent me at the end of Wednesday’s night episode.
So let’s get to brass tacks, shall we? This is going to be a long one… there was a lot of plot.
The big story this week was Tyrone and Kirsty. The week began with Kirsty meeting up with her mum, having perjured herself on the stand to present herself as a victim. Her mum does not approve, but sees Kirsty spiralling out of control and wants to help. She offers to move in with Kirsty and help with baby Ruby, but Kirsty snaps – her mum will never leave her dad. She didn’t leave her when Kirsty was nine and being beaten, and she won’t leave now. Bye Alison, you did your best to throw a life preserver to drowning Kirsty but unfortunately it wasn’t good enough. When Kirsty comes home, already wound, she is upset to find Sally and not Julie looking after Ruby. Hush! The baby’s asleep for once! But no, Kirsty flies off the handle over Ruby having been left alone with someone who may have colluded with a kidnapper. Sally points out Kirsty should be grateful for the help, but out she goes on her ear without so much as a thank you. And of course Ruby starts crying again at the screaming, and no wonder. Later, Julie comes by to check on Kirsty, but Kirsty rants and raves about not having seen her mum in months and having to come home after that stress to see Sally in her home and then throws a vase at the wall. This is looking familiar to us, but not to Julie. The penny drops. Julie makes some excuses “well, you’re tired, I’ll leave” etc. and gets out of there.
At the trial, Fit Doctor
Wassisname Carter (he could check my blood pressure, wink wink, nudge nudge) testifies that Tyrone did come in at one point with Ruby, very concerned. It’s not looking good for Ty, though, especially after the hatchet job his neighbors did on his character last week. Later, Kirsty goes to see Fit Doctor Carter to get some pills to help her sleep. Yes, please, knock yourself out so you can’t be awake for your child, that’s great parenting. He refuses, of course, and suggests counselling instead. Quite normal, given the situation, I should think – but Kirsty gets offended at being patronised, and storms out of the office. The Fit Doctor stares at the door after she goes, you can see his mental wheels turning as he processes that there is something not right in her state of mind.
Tyrone takes the stand in his own defense. He never touched Kirsty. At first she seemed loving and caring – but then she lost her job as a policewoman, and she took her depression and anger out on him. She hit him in the face with a ladle, and slammed him into the wall, and slammed his arm into a door which sent him to hospital. No, he didn’t strike back. No, he didn’t push her down the stairs. The sticking point is why didn’t he report her behaviour to the authorities… and kudos to Alan Halsall here, who delivers a heartrending monologue about being a battered man. He was scared, he said, of what she would do to him if she found out that he had gone to the police. Moreover, he was ashamed to be a bloke beaten up by a woman. People wouldn’t make jokes, though, if they knew what it was really like. And most of all, he wanted to protect Ruby. He stayed home and Kirsty went to work because he knew Kirsty couldn’t cope with the stress of the baby on her own. He stayed to protect the baby: he was there to love her and look after her, because baby Ruby needed him.
At this point, I have to say, my house was terribly dusty and I had to go get a kleenex to deal with the household dust.
Dust, I say.
But then the prosecution starts asking him about Fiz. Why didn’t he just move out instead of starting a relationship with another woman? He was protecting Ruby, and besides, Kirsty had destroyed the caring life he thought he was going to have. You don’t hurt the people you love.
No you don’t, agrees the lady prosecutor. But then, you didn’t love Kirsty Soames, did you.
Meanwhile, Julie has had a thought flit through her head. It’s an unusual sensation, so it takes her a night to process what’s occurring. Kirsty has been lying! She has crazy eye! Maybe she’s been lying all along! Maybe Tyrone is innocent! And so, in spite of Brian’s counsel, she heads over there to confront Kirsty. Kirsty has been having a bad day, but not as bad as Tyrone’s is Julie’s opener. You’d drop me if you knew, counters Kirsty. Knew what, asks Julie. That you’ve been lying all along and that you are the dastardly abuser? THWAP! Backhand to the mouth! Exit Julie, clutching a fat lip, beating a tactical retreat to Sean’s. Kirsty’s gig is up.
Kirsty’s visibly lost control. Natalie Gumede was wonderful in these scenes, trembling all over with the physical effort of maintaining any composure at all. She puts baby Ruby into a cot in the salon, but of course the baby is picking up on her mum’s distress and is bawling her little head off. Unable to settle herself enough to calm the child, Kirsty loses control and starts repeating “shut up” – eventually screaming it full-on into the baby’s face.
Next door, shaken Julie is feeling terrible guilt over her part in publicly condemning an innocent man. Sean settles her down a bit, but all of a sudden there is an ominous thud and the baby stops crying. That’s not good, I thought. They go back next door to check, but there’s no sign of Kirsty and the baby.
Sean calls the police, and waits there while Brian and Julie go to try and stop Tyrone’s trial. To no avail, though, because the officers of the court won’t let them in. This actually does make sense, as much as I wanted Julie to flounce in with her cape flying, shouting dramatically to “stop the trial, this man is innocent!” I think Julie wanted that too, some sort of redemption. While it would have countered Kirsty’s claims that she was not violent in the least, it was not actually relevant to whether or not Tyrone hit Kirsty. Instead, Julie has to apologize to Hayley, Tina, Tommy and Fiz, who have (as Fiz puts it) more important things to worry about than Julie’s conscience.
So the trial continues and Tina takes the stand. The prosecution is having a field day with her total bias as a witness when all of a sudden… in come Kirsty and the baby! To the middle of the court! “I need help, I’m scared of what I might do! I might hurt her, I don’t want to hurt her – she needs to be with you.” The court is in an uproar, and the judge asks Kirsty to leave. But she refuses. “He’s not the monster, I am.” Kirsty admits all – Tyrone was telling the truth, she was the one who hit him and her testimony was all made up. But it’s gone to trial, and there are systems in place to make sure the law is applied equally. Consider how many abuse victims recant their stories under the stress of a trial, or under fear of reprisal. It’s not as if the court system can sign off and say “ok, trial’s done, we were wrong, let’s sign this form.” Fortunately, Kirsty obliges the court by providing a written confession. It builds and builds, she says, until she cannot control it anymore. She doesn’t want to turn into her dad, and she doesn’t want Ruby to become her. So the judge dismisses the jury, the prosecution withdraw the charges and the defense requests an immediate dismissal. Granted, says the judge. Mr. Dobbs, you are found not guilty of all charges. Tyrone is free!
Social Services even return the baby to him, granting him custody and informing him a letter will follow to that purpose.
Kirsty is taken away to a prison van in shackles, charged with perjury and perversion of the justice system. She sees Tyrone, Fiz and baby Ruby outside the gates – a happy family, just what she tried to destroy.
Meanwhile the police are beginning to put together a case in the Rovers’ arson. They know it’s arson now, and that someone had to use the spare keys. “The spare keys, you don’t say?” says Karl, obviously fondling an object in his pocket. “Well, excuse me, won’t you, I have to go walk the halls guiltily and plant something in Sunita’s room, completely not related to the spare keys being discussed at the moment… I mean, I’m going to go get a cuppa.” And since he’s the conquering hero, nobody raises a question about his skulking about the halls of the hospital. When Dev goes to talk to the doctor, Karl plants the spare key to the Rovers in Sunita’s bedside table with her personal effects. When the police come by, Sophie is comforting Dev at his bedside vigil. Can they look through Sunita’s stuff? Sure, he says, but you won’t find anything because certainly nobody would have come round while she’s hooked up to a ventilator unconscious and planted incriminating evidence in her sickroom. I mean come on, who would do that.
So Kreepy Karl seems to be winning on the diversionary tactic front. It helps that every time Gloria opens her mouth she reinforces Karl’s lies. To Glo, Karl can do no wrong – but she sounds like a ventriloquist’s dummy. By Friday I started looking for his hand up her backside moving the lips. To her credit, Stella is not sold on the convenience of Sunita as a villain. Sunita was her friend once, and she doesn’t believe that Sunita would deliberately try to kill her. It doesn’t make sense. You hold on to that, Stella.
But, by the time Karl and Stella are released from hospital, Karl has weaseled his way back in to Stella’s life completely. Jason wants to stay in and pamper his lady, but Stella sends him off. Stella goes to see the burned shell of the Rovers and Karl comforts her, which in no way made me throw a pillow in the direction of my telly. “If only I could change things,” he says. “You can’t, nobody can.” she replies. Well, he could have not lit the place on fire and shoved Sunita down the stairs into the flames. So, yes, Stella, he could have changed things. Anyway, back watching TV, Stella starts to have a bit of a breakdown at the losses she’s had with the Rovers burning. So naturally Kreepy Karl sees his opportunity and leans in for a snog. And she reciprocates. Shades of Tony Gordon and Maria Connors, no? But the fellow who plays Karl is doing an excellent job as a scheming baddie.
Meanwhile meanwhile, Sylvia and Stan gave us some most welcome comic relief. Sylvia had imbibed of Stan’s brownies, which gave her significant relief for her sore wrist. But she was unaware of their, uh, magical properties… while doing the washing-up in the café, she was completely hypnotized by the light and colour refraction of the bubbles. It was hilariously played. “It’s like rainbow land, it’s just wonderful!” Well, the gig is up when Dennis lets her in on Stan’s secret ingredient. She is horrified! Outraged! Filled with uprighteous moral rectitude! “I have been drugged!” she says. “A member of the One-O’Clock Club!” She continues to be quite put out, until the cutest lil’ dealer of all time, Stan, points out that many members of the One-O’Clock Club are using the same “herbal” remedy. Imagine, the One-O’Clock Club a den of narcotics. Blanche would roll over in her grave. Roll over so she could hear better, that is.
So, Stan brings Sylvia a tupperware container of brownies at the Café to get her through till Monday’s club meeting. But Anna, seeing brownies and being a practical sort, puts them out for sale. Rita has bought three! One for herself, one for Norris, and one for Mary, a treat to go with their tea at the Kabin. Oh Rita. What will Dennis say?
The various and the sundry:
- Chesney’s having a rough time of it after the breakup with Katy. He still loves her. Kirk is doing his best to keep his spirits up, but Ches is hitting the lager a bit hard. So hard that he tries to chat up Eva. That goes about as well as you would expect.
- Beth starts to give Kirk the gears for spending so much time with Chesney, until he tells her that if it was Kirk that needed a friend that Chesney would be there without question. Chesney is his best friend and he needs a mate and that’s that.
- Izzy is as ever a woman of good sense. In this case, she advises Gary that he needs to back off trying to tell Tina she can’t testify in Ty’s defense. Tina might be carrying their baby, but she’s her own person and that’s that. After Ty’s verdict, Gary takes Tina over to the Bistro to provide a sympathetic ear… and I have some thoughts. It’s not like Tina has a lot of friends to share sympathy with. So that had better be all that was, was a bit of sympathy from a friend, with Gary trying to make up for having been over the top in trying to control her actions before. If the writers are trying to put together Gary and Tina I am not going to be well pleased.
- Nice that Lloyd and Mandy are giving Dev some support. Dev is absolutely shattered by Sunita’s illness and the fact that the keys were found in her possession. It’s like he doesn’t know her at all, he thinks… and it’s Easter and he doesn’t have any Easter eggs, and he just wants everything to be normal. Poor fellow.
- Sophie had a nice explanation this week of why she’s so upset by Sunita being so ill – when Kevin had the affair with Molly and all that mess, and when she came out and found she was in love with Sian, Sunita was always a comforting presence to her. I can see why Sophie would be so upset by Sunita in hospital, and I’m glad the writers have remembered it too.
- Tyrone at home hoovering, when baby Ruby starts fussing. He picks her up and immediately it stops. Oh that was it! She was a daddy’s girl, all along.
- Eileen and Julie have some grovelling to do, and oh do they know it.
- The costumers had Julie in some sort of large woolen cape this week. I know she’s pregnant, and is not meant to be preggo on the show, but seriously, that cape did NOT do her any favours. It looked like she had run out of the hairdresser’s.
- Eileen wants Paul to go for counselling after losing his friend Toni in the fire, but he seems fine (outwardly, anyway).
- Tina, Fiz and Kirk are worried about Tyrone not leaving the house, and they basically get Tommy to bully him into going out. The man has just gotten out of prison! How’s about you all back off and let him bond with his daughter in peace for a week. Her schedule has been completely upset and so has his, let them get back into a semblance of routine before you start pushing them into socializing. No matter how nice the surprise party was, I think that crowd could have been more respectful of what he’s just gone through.
Did I miss anything? Let me know in the comments!