Hey all, sorry this is late. In my defence, the team I advise at school (work) won the provincial title for high school cheerleading yesterday. Lots of hard work paying off, celebrations all round. And because I was doing provincials, I missed Friday. But I think I have it down.
Since I’m on the subject of teenage drama, let’s start with Katy, Ryan and Chesney. Last week, convinced all was over and done between her and Ches, Katy went out drinking with Ryan and threw herself at him between rounds of vodka shots. Because nothing says “I’m totally seriously into you” like getting hammered to forget your ex. Love the one you’re with, I guess. Poor Ches realized too late he had over-reacted, and when he saw Katy leaving Ryan’s in the morning (they hadn’t slept together) he knew he wouldn’t be able to stay in the relationship. He has a new relationship, with lager. Lager won’t dump him for a skeevy DJ. Which is all stupid, because when Ryan tried to kiss Katy as she was headed home, she totally ducked and covered – clearly she only likes him when she’s drunk Katy, right? I cannot see that being the basis of a healthy relationship going forward, and I think Katy knows that too. Meanwhile, Michelle tried to talk to Ryan and Katy as though they were adults, pointing out the importance of stability in young Joseph’s life. But Micheeeeelllllleeeee, they liiiiiiiiiiiiiike each other, and you don’t understand their plight. Nothing’s going to keep them apart, it’s lurve. Ryan actually says to Michelle “How would you know what it is, or how I feel, so just back off.” Which I believe I did actually hear at work last week. All that was missing from this storyline to make it utterly cinema verité to me was a slammed locker door and some sad passive-aggressive tweets. Sigh. Teenagers, always with the dramatic. But I guess this means the writers are actually writing this realistically.
In relationships that SEEMED like they should be in high school, meanwhile, Tommy still likes Tina and tried to take her out for a nice meal but Gary is totally blocking his moves. Even though Gary is with Izzy and really should leave Tina alone. Scandale! Gary bought Tina’s dad’s wedding ring off a pawnbroker – said it was only 20 quid but in reality it was 10 times that amount. Anna, on finding the receipt in Gary’s laundry, told him to smarten the heck up and not to screw up what he’s got with Izzy. Good advice. Hope he follows it, because Izzy might be my favourite character at the moment. Tommy tells Izzy to look to her man, because he’s tired of being blocked all the time. Plus, I think he’s right on the mark that Gary fancies Tina – it’s just a question of where they’re going with this. THE CORRECT ANSWER IS NOWHERE, writers.
Carla sells her flat, and takes Peter, Michelle and Steve out to the Bistro to celebrate. When they order their second bottle of expensive vino, Leanne takes offense. How can Peter afford this wine when his (and her) business is so hard up? Leanne decides to go back to the Bookies, but the constant fighting between she and Peter is terrible for business. Carla, as she has a fairly decent head for business, sees this – and she buys out Leanne’s part of the business with the money from her flat. This is a great plan except for the part where she does it behind Peter’s back. When he realizes what Carla is done, he throws a temper tantrum worthy of my three-year-old nephew, sulking. “I don’t want to eat. Can I order my own food? You’re the boss.” He literally kicks a can in the street at one point. It was priceless. Carla sneaks in to the bookies with Rob and Tracy to see the books to check on her investment (because why do that BEFORE you buy… I thought she was meant to be good at business) and she realizes that Rob might actually have a couple of brain cells firing when it comes to the gambling business. She installs Rob as her representative to work the day-to-day business with Peter. Again, without telling Peter, because it went over so well last time she acted without telling him. But that’s ok, because she uses her sexy sexy ways to bring Peter round. That’s Peter and Carla in a nutshell, right there.
In Faye and Tim news, Faye is feeding Tim stories (which, as we have seen time and again, is what she does) and Tim is buying them. He thinks he can leave her alone much of the time, that she can watch Bridesmaids alone, that she will be able to shift for herself for food. He says Faye is his top priority, but he doesn’t understand what it means to parent. Anna, seeing this, is beside herself with worry and indignation. I genuinely think he doesn’t know how to parent. He was absentee for so long. But then, he also went out of his way to be a jerkface to Chesney that time in the street, so there are clearly layers of mean to Tim. This can’t end well, is what I’m getting at.
Meanwhile, Dev was relying on Mary for stability – he even, at the kids’ request, invited her to play Monopoly with the family. But Mary, as ever, takes things to an extreme. When she tells Dev in his shop that the Alahans have her full attention for the foreseeable, Dev’s response of a constipated grimace speaks volumes. She’s mothering him, and it’s driving him mad. But she is great with Asha and Aadi and somehow with them knows just what to say. Who knew Mary would be so good with kids? She’s like an onion.
And of course, after moping about pining her lost love, Eileen was told to snap out of it and chased after Paul. Because really. Give your head a shake, woman. Fortunately for us at home, she waited till he was on the train to do so, leading to some fantastic footage of Eileen running along the quay after Paul’s train. I loved how the dressers matched her blouse to the train, actually. Kudos to Jason too for cheering her on. So, will Eileen manage to stop Paul from leaving her life forever?
- Steve could drink his weight in alcohol at age 18? Good lord man.
- Mary grabbing the Scottie dog at Monopoly. I like the boot, myself.
- By Tuesday, I wanted Katy to go full on Kelly Taylor on Ryan and Chesney. “I choose… myself!”
- When Faye stole Sean’s sandwich because she hadn’t eaten, all I could think of was “won’t she be lovely in school this morning.” Her poor teachers.
Did I miss anything? Let me know in the comments!