Well, John is still on vacation in Great Britain, now in Scotland… I’ll be updating for another couple weeks because:
I kid! I kid! I would love to visit Scotland. Their accents are magnificent. Alas, the closest I can claim is NEW Scotland. See?
There’s a bagpiper there too, off in the background at the tourism office entrance, for those who have never had the pleasure of driving from New Brunswick to Nova Scotia. Also, you’re not allowed to import honeybees: there are multiple signs telling you so. Apparently that’s a problem?
Anyway, on with the update. It’s been another busy week, and I missed Wednesday but my Dad filled me in. So if there’s any mistakes on the mid-week blame Dad, ha ha!
Let’s start at the bistro, where the cops didn’t find any drugs but the damage to their reputation was done with glee by the Gazette’s reporter, only too thrilled to have stumbled onto an actual story. Leanne is forced to extend the 2-for-1 drinks special to recoup some of the losses caused by the police interruption, which makes Nick furrow his brow. When she wants to run another student night they start squabbling. David doesn’t help by playing one tune for Leanne and another for Nick: to Leanne, he’s all support for her idea, to Nick he’s all concern for the restaurant’s reputation and Nick’s financial interests. It’s a classic example of concern trolling. Nick and Leanne’s fighting gets so bad that Kylie begins to worry it might be the end of the road for them. Leanne and Nick decide to take a vacation to save their marriage, which David tries to undermine as best he can but is unsuccessful, so he settles for stealing Kylie’s keys and breaking in to secretly water down the bistro’s alcohol, while singing “He ain’t heavy, he’s my brother.” It was kind of hilarious.
Tim pops over to Anna’s to drop off the rest of Faye’s stuff, but Faye is having story time with Anna. When Faye comes downstairs, Tim makes fun of her a bit for having a story read. Anna lays into him afterwards: being read to was a sign of trust on Faye’s part, and you can bet she’ll never let herself be read to again now, so thanks a lot and don’t let the door hit you on the way out. And listen, from my POV it’s hard enough to get some kids to enjoy reading without their parents making fun of them when they do. Even if it’s just listening, it’s adapting to a literacy-positive environment. Thanks for making reading uncool to that adolescent, Tim, on behalf of everyone who would ever have her in a classroom going forward. I am deploying the TEACHER LOOK in Tim’s direction. You know, THAT ONE, that indicates imminent detention and other serious consequences. In other Tim news, he and Sally have been continuing to make eyes at each other across the Rovers’ bar and now people are noticing. Sally invites him over to “have a look at her fallen shelf.” So that coupling won’t be far off now, because I’m pretty sure the fallen shelf was a euphemism.
So Chesney tells Katy that Ryan is running around on her. At first, she doesn’t believe it: why would Chesney say such a thing? Chesney apologizes, because he knows how it hurts to find out your partner is cheating. Snap. Ryan and Katy are, in fact, fighting a lot over baby Joseph and over the “promoter”, Jamie Lee, who keeps texting him. Katy gets herself dolled up and follows Ryan to the club where she finds him tucked in a cozy corner booth with Jamie Lee. Jamie Lee mistakes her for a groupie, and is not well pleased to find Ryan had misrepresented himself as single. The expression on her face! It could have curdled milk. Anyway, Katy calls Ryan out for being a cheating cheater, and storms out. Ryan follows her to tell her she’s a fit bird and all, but he was only interested in her and not her kid! Well, you see, Ryan, that’s how it goes when you date someone who’s a parent. They are a package combo. Katy tells him to get lost, because it’s over and she’s not bothered. She goes back to pack up her things at Michelle’s – Michelle comes out and Katy tells her it’s over, so Michelle can quit judging her. No no, says Michelle, you have it all wrong. She’s been Katy, she knows how that feels. She was judging Ryan, because Ryan is her son and she knew he wasn’t man enough for the job. In the meantime, Chesney and Sinead are kind of friendzoned. He knows Ryan and Katy split up, so he splits up with Sinead. But when Katy comes round to try and get Chesney to take her back, he realizes that he can’t forgive her and forget that Katy had run off and moved in with another guy. Instead, he calls up Sinead and asks her to give him another go. Sinead tells him she’s tired of being second best, and that if he doesn’t start to treat her right she’s going to set Beth on him. Phew, that’s a serious threat!
Carla has a look at the bookies’ books, which sends her reeling for an intravenous of Merlot and a bottle of Diazepam. It’s doing poorly. Very poorly. Peter responds by setting recklessly high stakes – it was like a sale at the Bookies’. Things go well at first and Peter splurges on a fancy bracelet for Carla. However, this ends much as you would expect when Steve wins a 50 quid bet at 40 – 1 odds and cleans out the bookies. Great publicity for the bookies, grimaces Peter as he pays out the two grand. He has to dig in his own pocket to complete the 50-pound original wager. When Michelle finds out she’s astonished at Peter’s throwing his money around like a loony with these daft odds – check that, throwing around Carla’s money. Steve’s got lucky, but what if someone else gets REALLY lucky, what will that do to the bookies’ finances? Carla can’t float Peter forever, can she?
Roy is following his relaxation regimen and it is doing him some good. He wakes up the house though with his spa music for his meditation – Hayley is thrilled, and suggests an early morning stroll on the Red Rec, while Sylvia grumpily returns to bed. I’m with Sylvia on this one. There’s been a message left for Hayley, her test results are in. When she goes into the doctor’s office, however, Deirdre tells her there’s a note on the file that she has to see the doctor in person to get the results. But Deirdre is sure it’s nothing serious, except that she’s been told not to be overly reassuring in case it is something serious and the office gets sued. Hayley, duly alarmed by Deirdre’s bedside manner, sits down to wait.
Meanwhile, Paul has a bad week. Kids have been making prank calls on the emergency line, and when he tells one of the kids off the parents make an official complaint against him. He tries to unwind with a game of darts at the Rovers, but it goes pear-shaped. And this is part of the week that I missed, the actual words that were said. Dad said it was something like “give the white man a break” when he missed the dart board? Internet says “play the white man”? Anyway, Lloyd was there, as was Mandy and Jenna. They are quite naturally offended by the casually racist nature of the expression. Paul doesn’t understand how it’s racist, his Dad used to say that expression all the time and Lloyd is making something out of nothing. Paul is further offended that Lloyd is now calling him racist in the Rovers in front of his friends and neighbors. Lloyd, on the other hand, is incredulous at Paul’s absolute refusal to admit he’d said something out of order. He, Mandy and Jenna refuse to let Eileen buy them a drink, and they leave. Later, he says to Mandy: I bet his Dad did used to say that, and his uncles. Still doesn’t make it right. And this is where I refer you to Levar Burton on being a black man, because that’s not my experience to tell:
Hopefully that embedded right.
Mandy, though, wonders if Lloyd is trying to prove himself to Jenna. She tries to broker a peace, and eventually Lloyd cools down enough to say he will go talk to Eileen. This lasts only seconds until Jenna says she doesn’t think Lloyd’s done anything wrong. It’s on Paul to come to them.
Jason, who was at the Rovers, thinks Paul was out of order, and tells him so. But Paul refuses to hear that he’s overreacting, and will not apologize. No, he continues to insist Lloyd should apologize to him for calling him a racist. How dare he? Jason is blunt: he doesn’t think Paul’s a racist, but he does think Paul’s an idiot. Eileen, too, tells him it was casual racism, and it’s on Paul to admit he was wrong so everyone can move on.
At Dev’s shop, it’s the talk of the hour. He and Lloyd have an understanding: things you’ll tolerate when you’re by yourself you won’t tolerate when you’re in front of your child. At Streetcars, Eileen tries to reach out to Jenna and Lloyd but it’s not her apology to make. She feels mortified, and tries to explain that Paul had a long day, but Jenna cuts her off: it’s no excuse. When Paul goes into the shop, he’s met with hostility from Sophie and Dev. Sophie asks him if he wants to be served by the Asian or the lesbian, or perhaps he’d prefer to leave his money on the counter so as to not have to deal with either of them. Paul is furious that people are talking and calling him a racist, and instead of going to apologize to Lloyd he goes and calls him out on destroying his reputation. In response, Lloyd calls him National Front.
So it’s all gotten very awkward for everyone on the Street, and well done to the writers for going there.
- Mary on Norris: “I must get to him before anyone else. He’s unbearably smug if you bring him gossip he’s already heard.” Line of the week?
- Gloria’s got a classic Cherokee profile? Because her great-grandmother ran off with a performer in the Buffalo Bill Show in Manchester? What the what now?
- Deirdre counseling Tracy in the ways of the telemarketer, to give it a bit of razzmatazz. But as soon as she tries a call, she goes right off script and of course it’s one of her patients from the surgery. Oh, Deirdre. I used to work in call centres when I was in Uni, and I can tell you this: you DO NOT go off-script.
- Emily totally busted Norris’ eavesdropping. After she visits her solicitor, he will be the proud owner of #3 Coronation Street.
- Steve and Lloyd bonding over the kebabs: their bromance is alive and well.
Did I miss anything? Especially on Wednesday. Let me know in the comments!