Be sure to take a minute or two out of your day today to remember
In Flanders Fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses row on row
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard among the guns below.
We are the dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders Fields.
Take up your quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye beak faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders Fields.
“Layin’ Pipe” by David Wilcox. The only song in Canadian pop history to turn Toronto’s construction boom of the 1980’s into a metaphor for sex.
Bill and Jason discover their yard has been broken into.
Bill gets on the blower to the coppers to tell the coppers that his copper’s missing, as well as negotiate the efficient bureaucracy involved in reporting a crime. Eddie overhears this, realizes what’s happened and hurries back home.
By the way, remember last week when Eddie showed the old photo of himself back in his darts playing days? The photo looked familiar so I Googled the name of the guy who plays Eddie Windass and learned that the actor who plays him, Steve Huison, was also in The Full Monty. He played the ginger guy who lived with his mum. Lookit:
Anyway, Eddie finds Gary at home and tells him about the robbery. He suspects Gary because just the other day, he was asking how much a set of copper pipers would be worth. Gary denies but Eddie reminds him that they moved to Weatherfield for a fresh start and getting into these types of shenanagins are only going to lead to trouble. I mean, scamming a disability benefit is one thing, but this is just outright theft.
Meanwhile, Joe’s gone missing since Gail starting asking about his business. Women are like that, aren’t they? “Oooooh, how much do you make? Where do you work? Where is your flat? What’s your name?” Honestly!
Tina finds Joe living in that storage shed and he admits that he’s lied to Gail about working for Bill as he needs money. He asks her not to say anything but she says she’s not lying for him.
After the coppers investigate the missing copper, Jason theorizes that Joe could have taken it as he needs money but Bill doesn’t think so. Joe arrives late, saying he had to take his auntie to th’hospickle.
Gary Windass arrives at the yard and tells Jason that he heard about the robbery. He wonders if it was an inside job. Joe hears this and loses his temper, with Jason having to hold him back from hitting Gary.
In the Rovers, the three builders are having a hot pot and Bill asks Joe what his beef is with the Windasses.
“Beneath us is the underclass,” Joe answers. “And below a half-eaten kebab in the gutter, is the Windass Class.”
Joe says he knows Bill and Jason suspect it was he who stole the pipes. Bill denies this but things get heated when Jason asks about Joe’s auntie so Joe storms off.
Gail later finds Bill at the yard and asks about Joe. He tells her about the pipes and how Joe thinks he’s being accused of stealing them. He doesn’t think he did but desperate people do desperate things sometimes.
“Who says he’s desperate?” Gail asks.
Later Gail, Tina, and David are discussing the day’s events. Tina says her dad’s not the type to steal money and David thinks it’s obvious Gary stole the pipes when he saw them the night before, driving a big truck past the yard, looking best pleased.
He then goes next door to confront Gary but he claims that he was watching “The Dark Knight” which he and Eddie agreed was the least far-fetched of all the Batman movies. (Oh, I beg to differ) Eddie, reluctantly, backs up his alibi. David says he’s going to the police.
And you all know what THAT means:
Graeme the Poet
The story of John Stape’s sentencing has hit the Gazette and Fizz is mortified to learn her name was in it (BTW, Fizz is 24). She laments that she is now one of “those women” in the news who claim their criminal lovers were innocent. She’s well depressed.
Ches decides the best way to cheer her up is to set her up with another guy, this time who doesn’t fancy schoolgirls. Ches thinks someone like Kirk would do but Kirk says they broke the mold before they made him.
Anyway, he tries to set Fizz up with Graeme, who reads her a poem (“Your flamin’ hair, Your flamin’ hair!”) but it’s a bust. Despite Graeme being a bit … odd… it does cheer her up somewhat and they have a conversation on the way home about their romantic misadventures and inappropriate crushes. For Graeme, it was Aqua Marina of Stingray. Perhaps it was the Supermarionation. Perhaps it was the fact that she was made of wood but Graeme knew it would never work out. Anyway, I don’t think we’re about see any great Fizz/Graeme romance here but she did appear to cheer up so that’s something.
Oh, and Kirk sat on his fish and chips because the writers still insist that he’s mentally challenged.
In Other News
Maria’s back at the salon but Audrey wants her to take it easy so her duties have been downgraded to “Emily Bishop.” Fizz once joked that Sarah was such a bad hairdresser that she could only do two styles: shaved and Emily Bishop.
Emily mentions to Maria that Jed left on Christmas day, taking everything but his trademark cap. The wheels start turning in her head again.
The Dev/Amber Battle for the Car continues but is not resolved. Amber says Dev has an over-inflated sense of his self-importance but Dev says she worships the ground he walks on.
Found this funny YouTube compilation video of people getting slapped on Corrie. Don’t worry about spoilers as it was added just before the storylines we’re currently seeing in Canada.
Sheesh, peeps. I’m only a few years in with the gang on the Street…I started watching when Steve and Karen were in the throes of breaking up. Karen’s nose was running alot, I don’t remember much else….so can one of you long-timers please fill me in…has Steve always made such a cock-up of things??
As disgusted as JD seemed by Steve’s offer of Michelle on toast, he seems to have mulled it over. The next day, at band practice, JD tries to talk to Michelle, asking her how bad things are with Steve. Michelle, who is going for a new “look” has stolen a purple caftan out of Fiz’s closet.
JD tries for a snog, and Michelle politely puts him off, saying that she’s with Steve, and Steve is awesome and things are awesome. JD responds by explaining that Steve is an oily, spineless snake who tried to pawn her off like a Swiffer with a broken squirter.
Michelle begs JD to tell her he’s joking, but he isn’t. She runs home to the pub and in the back room, tearfully and angrily confronts Steve and suggests he try the truth for the first time in his whole life. Steve admits he does want to finish, but rolls out the rest of his game by saying, “it ain’t no one’s fault, just the way life is. I like you but I don’t love you.” No sooner has he dropped the bomb when he scurries off to the Cafe. Becky is on smoke break and Steve tells her he’s mid-breakup. Becky doesn’t want any part of him; she doesn’t trust him as far as she can throw him and tells him it’s too late, sod off.
Steve returns for more breaking-up. Michelle is all vulnerable and sad, asking if there’s positively no chance. She asks if there is anyone else, and Steve replies “Nooooooo, of course not.”
Stevie Mac! Look what I found on Craigslist for ya!
Back Door Man
Lloyd pops in the back door of the Rovers and gets all hot’n'bothered over Liz in her Maude cardigan, which she stole from me, and I am pissed because I wear it over my baggy black awards-ceremony dress. Liz escorts her love-machine upstairs for a quickie.
Later, Steve comes up to talk over the nuclear waste of his love-life, and catches Liz in her slinky peignoir set. His nickel drops pretty quick, and he bellows for Lloyd to come out of the bedroom. The boys resume their argy-bargy, it gets a little shovey and Liz tells them to knock it off. As Lloyd storms out, he sees Michelle in the dining room in tears. “He’s not worth tears, Michelle,” he tells her, “he’s a lying, cheating….” Cheating??? Cheating??? MIchelle, along with Liz and Steve, follow Lloyd as he goes to exit the bar and he lets fly, telling Michelle that on he big “night” Michelle mounted the inquisition over, Steve was with Becky, and has been ever since.
This Flight Tonight
Molly and Tyrone enjoy their first brekky as husband and wife. They open their gifts, laughing and reminiscing. Eventually, as their departure time nears, they begin casually. and then frantically, looking for their tickets, as Pam helps. Rocket science is not needed to figure out that Jackie has stolen them. Super-sad.
I Will Get By
Jason overhears Joe McIntyre on the phone, hanging up on a pesky creditor. He mentions this later to Bill, saying something is fishy. Bill says that Joe shows up on time and works hard. I think Jason needs to give Joe a bit of a break here…we can’t all live with our mum forever. Joe’s day gets worse before it gets better…Tina tracks him down to where he has shacked up at U-Store-It.
See people???? Do not lie!!! It gets you nowhere!
In Other News
As Michelle and Steve’s relationship unravels, Blanche’s supply of blackmail booze at the Rovers runs dry.
Jason pops into the Cafe for pie and chips, and to tell Becky that he has been to see about a divorce, and is now free as a bird. Becky is not as impressed as Jason had hoped.
As the NFL enters week 9, quite a feisty game is underway on Corrie, with plays both offensive and defensive.
The Fourth Quarter
Molly and Tyrone’s wedding winds down…
As the happy couple sign their register and the Korean harpist plays, Tyrone thinks about explaining the cop situation to Molly. Before Tyrone can say much, Molly is whisked away for photos. Pam takes Tyrone aside and they exchange some heated hissing about the incident. Some time later, Pam is discussing it with Kirk. Kirk fills her in that some palm-greasing was done to spring Tyrone.
Molly and Tyrone emerge from the church in a flurry of white petals and applause. While Molly socializes with the guests, Pam chats with Tyrone…she has put two and two together; the “cop” in the bar wasn’t – it was Whispering Jeff. Despite being scammed, Tyrone is intensely relieved that he is not really arrested. Now he can enjoy his wedding day for real.
The Tailgate Party
The reception gets underway at the Rovers. Diggory, despite his absence has contributed a beautiful cake. Pam, Jack and Tyrone still do a little under-the-breath sniping at one another about the near-miss. Kirk uses the last-call bell to call the room to order and Jack delivers a lovely speech to the newlyweds. Among the guests, in a brown wig, or a hair re-think, is Jackie Dobbs, hearing much but saying little initially.
Kevin rings the bell for Tyrone, who delivers a cute speech, reliant on his cue-cards. He thanks Jack warmly, also Pam, and their friends. He says he didn’t do too well family-wise, so is thankful for his great friends.
Kevin then presents the happy couple with two tickets to Paris, and they are thrilled. Jackie, who has overheard Tyrone’s comments, is less than thrilled. It isn’t long before Tyrone and Molly spot her. She says after 18 hours of agonizing labour, she’s offended at the family put-down. Molly decides reluctantly it’s okay for Jackie to stay. Jackie has come to learn about Tyrone’s near-arrest, I assume by eavesdropping.
Out back of the Rovers, Fiz is in tears. Julie finds her, and Fiz confesses she has been receiving letters from John and is undone by them. Julie is wonderful and comforts her.
Jackie is socializing but sees Liz needs help and offers to help her take dishes into the kitchen. Once she is in back of the Rovers’ with the gift table, she wastes no time finding and stealing the tickets to Paris. She is almost caught by Liz and then by Pam.
Later, the guests troop outside to see Tyrone and Molly off. As they applaud and watch the “just married” car bearing Tyrone and Molly half a block to their house, Jackie disappears down a back alley with the tickets.
The Handoff
Steve sells Michelle to Humble Pie for a case of Heineken
In a predictable turn of the game that I didn’t see coming…JD has come into the Rovers to see if Michelle would like to do a great-paying gig in York, that has raspberry vodka on the rider. Steve overhears and encourages Michelle to “pursue her dream”.
Later, Steve brings JD a beer out back. He unrolls his story to JD – the fact that he and Michelle are on their last legs, and going to Ireland was a last-ditch attempt to save their relationship. JD is confused because he can see Michelle is happy…he knows her inside-out. Steve hints that JD is more suited to Michelle than he is. He also intimates that he and Michelle don’t get it on. The look on JD’s face is as if he’s discovered something green and fuzzy in the fridge. Steve goes on to say they’ve simply run out of steam. JD accuses him of attempting to pimp his girlfriend. No, says Steve, it would be better for all of them if he and Michelle split. He leaves JD turning over this information in his mind.
Later, as Michelle, Steve and JD join the well-wishers bidding Tyrone and Molly farewell, Michelle shivers in the cold; JD takes off his jacket and gives it to her. Steve says JD is a gentleman; JD looks uncomfortably at Steve.
The Field Goal
Peter emerges from his bedroom, buttoning up his shirt. He and Leanne have finally scored three points and enjoy some cuddling on the couch. He says he never expected ‘this’ when he came back to Weatherfield. That evening, Simon and Peter nip into the shop and Peter buys a bottle. The secret drinking continues.
Home Field Loss
David Platt comes home, chatting to Tina about the horse-drawn carriage…he is quickly turned icy by the sight of Gary Windass drinking tea in his kitchen. David is rude and Gary shifts in short order. David is super-cheesed off for Tina’s lack of loyalty, but Tina says she’s had enough of falling out with everyone, and David’s not to tell her who she can and can’t talk to. He says no, her brewing up for the enemy is a first.
In other news…
Tara tells Dev she has decided to stay in Weatherfield. He is overjoyed and plants one on her.
Blanche is bitching to anyone who will listen that she was insulted that her best slacks were referred to as ski pants.
The show opens with the continuation of Molly and Tyrone’s big wedding day. At Dev’s condo Amber, Auntie Pam and some random chick are waiting for Molly to emerge from Amber’s bedroom decked out in the wedding dress Tyrone bought. Pam calls it “Rhapsody Blanco.” Every time that woman opens her mouth she sounds like she id describing something on home shopping network.
A bit later, a horse drawn carriage pulls up to the condos much to Molly’s surprise. Dev and the random make-up lady watch Auntie Pam, Amber and Molly climb into the carriage. It is all very fairytale and Molly looks blissfully happy.
Meanwhile, Tyrone is nowhere near the church. After trying to flog Pam’s dodgy sunglasses at a pub, he meets a very odd copper who handcuffs to a fixture in a pub. Kirk and Jack try to negotiate for his freedom through argument and bribery – between pints. I swear, they ordered pints.
Over at the church, everyone is waiting outside while Sophie wails some tune in her headphones. I have to say she sounds EXACTLY like the two girls who sing the R&B slow jam hits of 2009 on the bus I take home. It is both painfully hilarious and hilariously painful.
Molly et al pull up to the church, but Dev waves the carriage on and, in an explosion of middle-aged fitness, chases down the carriage and is able to tell the driver to keep going. There has GOT to be steroids in his Viagra. This obviously freaks molly out who is concerned for Tyrone’s wellbeing.
Tyrone is still chained to the pub fixture and Jack and Kirk only manage to secure his freedom by giving the “copper” more cash and promising to bring him to the police station after the wedding. Could they be this stupid?
Tyrone finally makes it to the church and promptly passes out upon seeing Molly by his side. In an attempt to revive Tyrone, she gives him a bit of a kick. When he comes to, they manage to stand in front of the priest and after a ring exchange that looks a bit like a Halmark commercial.
As the events of the day are still weighing on Tyrone’s wee brain, after they sign the registry, Tyrone starts to tell Molly that right after the ceremony, he has to go straight to the cop shop, but he looks like he is going to faint again.
This guy actually became a pretty hot adult.
The new Cilla is propped up on the couch in the Charlie Stubbs memorial murder scene and she’s on at her son about taking down the Christmas lights as they have been up too long. She also wants him to grab her some crisps. I’m sure they had some sort of fun banter, but I don’t know what the heck they were saying. That woman’s accent is broad.
Scut Farcus leaves the house and when we see him later he is talking to Tina as he need to get some of the lights down through one of the windows. Its obvious to me that Tina likes Scut. When he’s done he gets her to make him a cup of tea. Come on Tina.
In Other News
Jason tries to ask Becky out and is … unsuccessful.
Leanne thinks that Peter isn’t an alcoholic today and has decided that since he is cured, she can date him.
Steve is still being a super prat where Michelle and Becky are concerned
It’s been said that if you go to St. John’s and don’t come back with a spring in your step, you might want to check your pulse. Yesterday, Prince Charles and Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, arrived in Newfoundland and Labrador to begin their tour of Canada. They were welcomed by Premier Danny Williams who gave a speech, extolling the virtues of Canada’s youngest province, highlighting its culture, its beauty, and its ties to the British Isles.
Oh, sure. Danny Williams referred to Newfoundlanders in the plural but I think we can all infer from his words that he was really talking about himself. He’s a Corrie addict. He’s one of us.
Michelle and Steve are sat in the backroom having a meandering conversation about whether a baked potato should be called a jacket potato or not. Michelle thinks jacket is the wrong name for it, as it makes her think of vegetables wearing stylish little ensembles. Steve, coward that he is, suggests that they go to Ireland for a visit – so he doesn’t have to bump into Becky – for a few days at least. Liz walks in on them at this point, and after Michelle has left the room, mother and son have a bit of a set to about their respective love lives. No profound conclusions are reached.
Wacky Love
Eileen tries to cheer Steve up while they are sat in the cab office, but he is not having any of it. Eileen goes to The Rovers for a break and orders an orange juice. She asks Liz if she knows why Steve and Lloyd have fallen out, and Liz tells Eileen about what it is going on between her and Lloyd. Eileen asks for some vodka in her orange juice. After further details from Liz, and the mental image of Liz and Lloyd getting jiggy, Eileen tells Liz to make the vodka a double.
Wine Love
Simon is being cleverly employed by Peter to get Leanne to come over for an afternoon of movie watching. Later, when Peter is returning with supplies he runs into Blanche on the street. Blanche asks him what is in the bags, as she could hear the clinking of bottles from across the street. Peter tries to deflect her, but Blanche discovers some wine bottles, so Peter claims they are for Leanne, before telling Blanche she would have done well in the Gestapo. Blanche throws out a few barbs before telling Peter she is off to shine her jackboots.
In the flat Peter is sneaking a few sips of wine when Deirdre, after hearing from Blanche, comes by for a surprise visit to see how things are going. Every thing seems kosher, so Deirdre leaves, and Peter sneaks another drink – although he seems to have a moment of regret about the wine when he looks at Simon.
Waxing Love
Molly is in a panic getting ready for the wedding. Amber, Pam and the bride to be have their hair in various states of adventure, and Natasha comes to the rescue to do the makeup. Pam tries to sneak out to get some champers (and do the deal with Dave) but Molly insists that Pam stays. Amber goes to get the bubbly instead, and ends up having a nice moment with Tara, who also ends up at the hair and makeup session. Pam calls Tyrone when she has a chance and guilts him into going to finish the deal with Dave. Molly continues down the road to madness as the wedding hour approaches.
Tyrone, over at The Old Rectory, is also working himself into a right state. Jack does his best to keep him calm, but things keep going wrong. The lady who was supposed to supply the doves for the ceremony calls to tell Ty that a cat did a number on the birds. The Korean harpist calls to say she is stuck in traffic on the M6 and might not make the service either. Pam adds to the stress by calling and getting Ty to stop in at the pub to do the ‘Roy Bans’ deal.
Tyrone gets Kirk and Jack, who have been ready for an extra hour already, to go with him to the pub to do the sunglass deal. When they get to the pub Tyrone tries to finish the deal with Dave as quickly as possible. Jack and Kirk, disregarding being told to stay in the car, come in for a pint. Jack seems to sense that something suspicious is going on, but when he asks Ty ‘You all right lad?’ Kirk replies that he is. Jack calls him a pillock. Turns out that Jack was right to be suspicious, the buyer Dave is an undercover cop, and he ends up arresting Tyrone for trafficking in stolen goods, putting the cuffs on him, and putting the brakes on the whole wedding day, it would seem.
Perhaps it was the Supermarionation. Perhaps it was the fact that she was made of wood but Graeme knew it would never work out. Anyway, I don’t think we’re about see any great Fizz/Graeme romance here but she did appear to cheer up so that’s something.
It’s been said that if you go to St. John’s and don’t come back with a spring in your step, you might want to check your pulse. Yesterday, Prince Charles and Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, arrived in Newfoundland and Labrador to begin their tour of Canada. They were welcomed by 
