‘Tis the week before Christmas, the stores are all hopping
A quick little update, as I should be shopping.
Sophie’s giving up money, for Lent so she says
So her folks have binned booze for the next 40 days.
On to Steve as King Henry, with new wife-to-be
and his past almost-wives (here’s a clue – more than three).
Becky overhears Liz, being gobby at lunch
Saying Becky just sucks – she’s the worst of the bunch.
The past wives surprise Becky; she’s taken aback
But a quick chat with Steve and it’s all back on track.
Becks is helping with Amy, or trying at least
But Liz doesn’t care and she’s being a beast.
When the little wee mute has a tough day at school
Becky sits with the tot, and is playing it cool
But Liz calls reinforcements, and in swans Michelle
To comfort wee Amy and give Becky hell.
On her way out, the chatter becomes somewhat tense
And Michelle’s all to happy to give her two cents:
It’s revealed to poor Becky, in love with her bling
That she’s walking around wearing biatch Michelle’s ring.
And like nails on a blackboard, the Platts and Windasses
Have a fight in the pub like a bunch of bad-asses.
Len is leaning on Joe to get Tina’s head straight
But it seems like the pressure is coming too late.
Tina ditches her drink, goes and packs up her stuff
Leaves a note for the family – enough is enough.
After ducking Eileen and not saying hello
Julie’s mom Paula Carp now appears on the show.
Eileen takes her to Rovers, they have a quick drink
That’s about it for now – will be more I should think.
At the Platt breakfast nook, Joe is contemplating Len’s offer but still claiming that he won’t take the job because the builders will want him to cut corners (in a condo development? attached somehow to the local thug? never!). David says he shouldn’t be too fussy about work, given his situation. Joe starts yelling at David about all this being his fault and storming out. Tina looks as though she perhaps shouldn’t have told him the truth about the fight.
Outside, Len asks Joe if he has thought about his offer to ensure he gets the job of fitting all the kitchens. He tells him it’s a two word answer. Len says that all he wants is for Tina to tell the truth in court. He tells him to check today’s post for a little something.
Later he argues with Tina, saying that as much as he hates the Windasses, he can’t condone her lying in court. He raised her to always tell the truth, even if their relationship troubles stem from his frequent lying. Tina says if Gary goes down, it’s one less Windass to worry about. Still later, Gail asks Joe if the reason he thinks she’s pressuring him about the condos is if she wants him to pay back the money he owes her. David and Tina hear this and are all, “OH, NO YOU DIDN’T!”
And the post Joe got was a tender confirming the construction was legitimate, we are to presume.
Meanwhile, Anna is wailing over Eddie’s eating of the chocolates Gary gave her. Len continues to tell them to trust him, which Anna translates as “trouble”.
Finally, after arguing with Tina again about telling the truth – while at the same time, lying to a bill collector on his mobile – Joe meets Len in the future condos site and tells him that he’s in.
Ride the Lightning
Ken and Deirdre are in the café when they bump into Ted. Deirdre asks how the play was as Ken, just behind her, vigourously nods yes to Ted, who catches Ken’s drift and covers for him. As Deirdre leaves, Ken tries to claim Martha is just a friend but Ted counters that he wouldn’t need an alibi if that were the case. He claims that Ken fancies her rotten.
So Ted decides he wants to check out Ken’s little non-piece on the side for himself. Ken is surprised to find him there and as they leave, Ken tells him that, again, there is nothing going on. Ted says he won’t judge him but thinks he should be honest with himself about what he wants.
One
Liz leaves Becky in charge of the Rovers for the lunch rush. Then, in the kind of plot that usually occurs in 1970’s sit-coms, a tour operator walks in and tells her that a busload of Metallica fans broke down nearby and asks if it would be ok if they came in for some light refreshments. Becky says, “Of course. I can see NO downside!”
The fans, while numerous and boisterous, are reasonably well-behaved but it’s at the expense of the regulars, including Kelly who had to wait 20 minutes for her drink. When she tries to serve herself, Becky and Kelly get into a massive fight that spills out into the street just as Liz and Lloyd arrive back from their lunch date.
Kill ‘Em All
It’s Rita’s birthday. She got a necklace from Eileen’s dad and has been in touch with Mavis, who’s still with us, apparently.
Julie gets a call from her mum, who was pals with Eileen back in the day. When Julie tries to pass the phone to Eileen, her mum says she’s too busy and hangs up. Odd, that.
If the Windass family had a cat, this would be it.
The show opens with Joe and Len in some random building discussing a deal. Len wants Joe to convince Tina to change her testimony in exchange for a job fitting 19 kitchens in the flats that will be built on that site. Joe doesn’t believe that Len has the connections and Len assures him that he does. Hey, we have no reason to doubt Len, do we?
Back at the Platt’s Tina is making dinner while David is sitting on the couch. You know what, David is a jerk. He refuses to go get onions for dinner and then basically has a go at Tina for some whack reason.
Later on Joe and Tina are alone in the kitchen and they have a chat about the up-coming court case. Tina admits that she has been lying and she didn’t see Gary start the fight. I can’t help but think that now Joe is thinking RESULT! Now he can encourage Tina to tell the truth in court and get that sweet kitchen contract that I’m sure is totally above board. I mean, really. It’s a total lock.
Meanwhile at the Windass household, Scut Farcus has given his mom a box of chocolates (Quality Street, perhaps?) and this is so very touching to this woman. How thoughtful.
The chocolates must have sent this woman into a grief spiral because later she’s out in the back randomly throwing around junk for reasons that are totally unclear. Tina comes out telling her to keep it down. They have a mild confrontation and when David comes out they discuss if it is better to be just plain scum or lying scum. Really, the verdict is out on this one.
Ken’s brought his fancy wine to his fancy piece. That’s not fair, they aren’t having an affair yet. They do, however, have some wine and it is pretty clear that Ken’s picking up what she’s putting down. This woman is making it clear that she’d like to take this relationship to the next level and Ken is being cagey.
They manage to make it to the play and to dinner after but he doesn’t join Martha for a nightcap afterward and she puts it down to him being so recently widowed (the best way ever to call Deidre a dead beat). What Ken doesn’t know is that Deirdre is sitting at home alone beside a special mousaka with Ken’s name on it.
When he gets home Deirdre isn’t even all that angry. She is just upset and disappointed. Ken easily lies about going to see a play with Ted Paige (after Ted’s finished being a useless overly superior know-it-all, no doubt). Excellent strategy, Ken. There is NO WAY Deirdre will catch you in this lie.
In Other News
In the pub, Luke Strong (readers, say his name like you are a character in an African American comedy set in a barber shop) offers Maria and Tom a whole whack of money. Later at Maria’s, She and Tom ignore Michelle’s ridiculous extensions (come on, it just looks crazy fake now) and discuss the offer. Then Michelle’s extensions suggests they Maria and Tom think about what the business can earn for them.
Liz is being a cow to Becky. You know what this is, don’t you. Becky and Liz are almost the same person. They even look alike.
Sophie and her friend are talking about Ryan Connor. Her friend likes him and it is pretty cute when they both squeal when he acknowledges their presence.
We’ll start with a relatively minor plot line, but wonderful nonetheless. Ashley is very puzzled and concerned about Graeme’s behaviour whenever he wears Fred’s grungy old hat. Claire (who has re-emerged on the screen as of late) tells Ashley that the only answer is that the hat is possessed! Finally, she admits that she has spoken to Graeme and told him about what a wonderful guy Fred was and how he constantly repeated things, I say how he constantly repeated things. [Geez, I miss Fred. A lot.] Ashley is not amused.
Later in the butcher, Graeme continues with is homage to Fred and Ashley calls him on it. Ashley says that Claire admitted her part and Graeme should knock it off. Is points out that Fred was not a figure of fun, and the hat goes back on the rack. Really Ashley? Did we watch the same series of Coronation Street or did one of us see a version staged in someone’s gar-a-ge? To me, that was the beauty of Fred. Someone so proud and forceful, but greatly flawed. Seriously, I could write a whole post just about Fred’s character. Maybe that will happen over the holidays. But I digress…
Later that evening, Graeme arrives at the Peacocks’ (formerly the Websters’) home where he brings a peace offering in the form of a house plant. Apparently, the plant needs a good drink weekly. So does Ashley. Ashley points out that he doesn’t want his father to be made a fool and he really misses him. Graeme points out that Claire said Fred was top notch and leaves.
There’s a new man in town…
We continue where we left off on Wednesday evening. Luke Strong and Tony Gordon are in the office together. Luke asks Julie to leave for a bit. She is relieved, but is unsure if she still has a job. Apparently, Carla was supposed to warn Tony that Luke was on his way. I’m sure that when you’re in active labour, it’s hard to take care of everything on you to-do list. Tony wants Luke to leave. Luke says he’s known Carla for a long time and is staying.
Tony’s solicitors have informed him that Carla has appointed a successor. It sucks to be the last one to know something crucial, don’t it Tony-boy. Rosie wanders in and has set her eyes on a new man. Only earlier this week she was flirting with Tony. After all that happened! How long until Rosie tries her ways with Luke – I give it 2 weeks tops. With Tony’s glare, Rosie leaves, but knows she’ll be back later. Tony proclaims that Rosie is nothing but a helium balloon attached to high heels. Luke says likely that would be 2 helium balloons! HAH! After Luke leaves, Tony (claiming to be doing work) is looking at a slideshow of him and Carla and cries.
Julie comes back in the room to see if she is still employed. Luke saves the day and says that no one has lost their job, and why not kick off early? Tony’s fit to be tied.
Luke arrives at the Rovers and buys the girls from the factory a round. I’ve never had a new boss follow me to the pub and insist on buying my drinks. Clearly I have worked in the wrong places. Luke and Tony have a word outside. Tony says he doesn’t need help running the factory and Carla doesn’t need a spy. Luke says calmly that he has been asked to represent Carla, the major shareholder, and if Tony doesn’t like this, he (i.e., Tony) can go. Otherwise, be seeing you in the morning.
In other news:
Joe is annoyed that Gail aired his laundry to Jason, who isn’t a stranger. Does Gail mean to imply that Jason is family? I don’t remember her thinking that before. They have a row and Joe storms out. Later he returns and uses his pre-programmed apology, which Gail eats up. Gail admits to paying off some of his bills. After whining about not wanting to take handouts from a girl, he says he’ll make Gail a cuppa with a cup, spoon and saucer (whoopie!). Gail says that sounds special. Joe confirms that she is special. Guess what Gail, not all special is good special.
Liz and Lloyd have arrived to the dinner party of the street (and I think the only dinner party taking place that night). Conversation is forced and Ken is sulking like the elderly child he is. With that, Deirdre asks (instructs?) Ken to help her clear the dishes. However, people still are moving their forks towards their mouths. As Ken and Deirdre bicker in the kitchen, Blanche comes out and pointedly states that they may have noticed she was not offered a place at the table. Blanche then says that sometimes she wishes they’d put her in a home. Blanche longs for a dumb waiter to send her meals to and from the cellar. Lloyd asks if these houses have cellars, but Blanche admits that they don’t. Given the sad news we received last week, I am going to cherish every single scene with Blanche even more than I did before. It’s sort of like a long goodbye, isn’t it.
The Platts are at home slowly getting ready for the day. Gail offers to pay some of Joe’s bills for him, and he responds ‘no thank-you’. Tina is on the couch, depressed because she feels Joe’s business is ruined because of her. She wants to cave in and not testify. David bolsters her courage up yet again. He tells her she’d be testifying for Joe as well as for him.
As Julie and Fiz leave for work, they discuss Julie’s impending “decision”. Julie proposes solidarity – the workers should unite and walk out. Fiz confesses that she told the workers about Julie’s plight. Fiz also points out that you don’t win fights you pick with Tony; he’d just close the whole place down before giving in.
Tony shows up at the factory, greets the workers on the stoop and then goes chasing off after Leanne. He wants to know if Leanne has heard from Carla and if she’s OK. Leanne says there’s been no word.
Deirdre is tidying up, bickering with Ken, who has confessed it’s a play he is missing. Deirdre is miffed that he even told her about it, because now Ken will be wishing he’s elsewhere for the entire duration of the dinner.
Eileen and Steve are in the cab office. Steve asks if they can call a truce. Eileen says she’ll try. She becomes quickly pissed off though, when Steve brings up Jason, and apologizes. The way Eileen sees it, Steve did Jason a favour by taking Becky off him. Although she likes Becky, Becky is out of control and overtaken by demons from time to time. Steve defends her, saying she’s had a hard life.
Michelle drops by the Bookies’, to talk to Leanne. They grouse about Becky and Steve for a bit; as far as a wedding dress, Michelle declares Becky will look like a “whippet in a frock.”
Yeah, I know...it's a westie, not a whippet...and whippets are skinny, and Becky is skinny...but c'mon! Cute!!
Leanne tells Michelle that she’s had a few texts from Carla, who is in L.A., but didn’t tell Tony. Michelle wishes she had somewhere like L.A. to run away to.
As Deirdre vacuums, Ken wraps his scarf around his neck and tells Deirdre he’ll be out for an hour. She gives him some harpy grief about going out and how he can’t be bothered picking up a few bits for her at the shops.
Michelle and Steve bump into each other in the street. She tells him she just wants them to ignore one another…and not even say ‘hi’. She gives him an earful about lying, cheating, Becky-bashing, blah, blah blah…” He finishes crossing the street to where Leanne is in the Bookies’ doorway. He wonders if Leanne has been offered a job there.
Julie tallies her knickers and stitches, and marches purposefully in to see Tony. Tony, meanwhile, is on the phone trying to determine where Carla’s last ATM withdrawal occurred. Julie steps out until he is done. Momentarily, she stands in front of Tony’s desk and announces that the person leaving will be her. Tony accuses her of trying to be noble, so that he will be impressed with her martyrdom and call the whole thing off. He has no intention of doing this however, and marches Julie back out to make a decision. He tells her not to be so soft. Or, he’ll sack Julie and a co-worker. He smirks as she leaves.
Gail is at her kitchen table, writing out cheques to pay off one or two bills for Joe, despite his refusal of her help. David happens by and she tells him what she’s up to…when Tina comes downstairs, mother and son keep it from her.
Deirdre is in the butchers ordering lamb chops. Graham cheerfully doles them out…wearing Fred’s greying butcher’s hat and seeming to channel Fred….repeating phrases as Fred was wont to do. Ashley finally approaches Graham, asking him what’s up with the doublespeak routine. He has Graham remove the hat and try speaking. No two-talk. Graham then replaces the hat…and has an uncontrollable urge to repeat himself. Ashley confides that Fred used to talk in exactly the same manner. Graham offers to remove the hat, but Ashley says no, keep it on…and they’ll see if it happens again I say, they’ll see if it happens again.
Ken swings by the tea boat, where we see Martha in a fetching exercise outfit. She offers coffee. Ken tells Martha that he has to go to a silly, silly dinner party, and the woman throwing it would never forgive him if he wasn’t there. “Neither,” Martha hams, pulling her best Dynasty face, “will I!” Although she cracks up with laughter afterword, we can’t help but wonder if a hidden possessive streak is being hinted at. She says, by all means attend the party, but he needs to tell her all about it later. And Martha is relieved that she’ll have a few performances under her belt before Ken sees her in the play.
Leanne pops by Maria’s, where Michelle is staying. She offers Michelle a job at the bookies. Michelle turns up her nose at first, but agrees when Leanne intimates that Steve would hate it. So, Michelle’s employment on the street, as well as her hair, has been extended.
Later, Tina and David loll on the couch, as Joe returns. Gail is in the kitchen, “catching up on the post”. She goes to mail the bills. Joe asks the kids to keep their suspicions about the Windasses arranging the break-in on the down-low. Less hassle that way. Tina once again feels totally horrible. David tells Tina she’s their only hope.
Jason and Steve run into each other in the street. The have a bit of back-and-forth about Becky. Steve still wants to be friends. Jason tells him to sod off, more or less.
A bright red car pulls up to Underworld. Inside, Julie, an angry wreck, tells Fiz it’s not that she can’t choose, it’s that she won’t. She stalks back into the office to tell Tony she won’t decide. And that it’s her choice, so she can accept his sacking her. They are interrupted by a good-looking bloke called Luke Strong. Apparently, he has been appointed by Carla Gordon to take over day-to-day management of the factory.
Luke Strong, the new Underworld factory boss arrived on Coronation Street on Friday 20th February 2009. Played by actor Craig Kelly, you might have seen him before as Vince Tyler in the seminal Channel 4 series Queer as Folk where he starred alongside Anthony Cotton, who plays knicker-stitcher Sean Tully. Vince Tyler's Queer as Folk mother was actress Denise Black, who played Ken Barlow's girlfriend, Denise Osborne. Craig's brother is ex-Shameless actor Dean Lennox Kelly. Craig has also appeared on TV in Casualty, Waking The Dead and as teacher Mr Treblecock in the third and final series of The Grimleys.
It’s Tina’s berfday and David has gotten her some jewelry while Joe has booked the posh place even though Tina just wanted pizza. I get the sense Joe’s money problems are largely self-induced, with or without the Windasses constantly screwing him.
At his lock-up, Joe shows a potential customer his gear. The customer seems satisfied and hands Joe a deposit. As he happily walks out, we see Len Windass and some hoodlum sitting in a car. Later, Len shows up and takes the whole family out to the Rovers while said hoodlum takes to breaking into the lock-up.
When Joe arrives back at the lock-up, he discovers everything’s been trashed. No job for him then! When he gets back to the Platt’s, they call the police and he tries to press an accusation against the Windasses but unfortunately, at the time of the break-in the whole clan was at the Rovers. Now, Tina isn’t so sure what to do when it’s time to go to court.
Anyway, Ted is going to treat everyone to pizza because this is kind of his fault he’s generous.
Becky’s House
Steve awakes to find that Becky is nowhere to be found. He asks Liz if she’s seen her and she responds by wondering if he’s seen his wallet. Alas, Becky has not scampered but just popped out to get some smokes and it’s in the street where Steve finds her. She assures him that she’s sticking around. Steve suggests they go into town to get her engagement ring re-sized or, preferably, exchanged but Becky says she likes it just as it is.
In the newly expanded back rooms set at the Rovers, Becky is looking for jam when Liz starts giving her a hard time about moving in, suggesting that she’s done this sort of thing a lot. She then chides Steve and Becky for carrying on behind Michelle’s back and rubbing her nose in it.
Later, Becky meets Michelle in the street and tries to apologize for her lack of impulse control but Michelle is having none of it. She says if Steve could cheat on her, then he could just as easily cheat on Becky.
“It might take six weeks or six months,” Michelle declares. “But he’ll wake up one morning when his brain has gone back into his head and realise you’re nowt but a scrawny slapper with all the class of a town centre toilet!” (In Britain, there are public toilets in the centre of the city and … they’re gross)
Later, when there is more sniping between Becky and Kelly, Blanche quips, “I’m sorry I missed the floor show last night but who needs that when you’ve got this aggro?”
In Several Other Stories
The Shunning of Julie is on at the factory but Fizz tells them about Tony’s ultimatum, which he is still pressing on her.
At the butcher’s Graeme has taken to wearing an old butcher’s hat.
“Did I hear young Clurr talking about them babbies?” he asks. Ashley asks where he found that hat.
“From that rack, I say, that rack in the back.”
Ashley is beginning to wonder if Graeme is possessed by his late, I say, his late father.
Ken is back from Portsmouth (Peter should be coming back soon) and stops by to see Martha on her boat. She invites him to see her play’s opening night on Friday. But when he gets back, he discovers Liz and Lloyd are coming over for dinner on Friday so he’ll have to break his plans. Lamb Tagine or Streetcar?
The show opens with our Becky bursting into the pub looking a bit sketched out. I love Becky but due to her super skinny physique, nervous/upset Becky can also look like coked up/strung out Becky. She’s fresh from the Jason Grimshaw St. Valentine’s Day massacre and needs to see Steve straight away.
When she does see him he tells her that he knows she only chose Jason because he’s better looking. You see Steve is generally much more interested in the person’s character rather than curves. Once Becky can get a word in edgewise she tells him that she actually hasn’t chosen Jason because she really does love him and she wants to marry him.
This makes Steve very happy and he asks her to move in with him today – it is a good thing no one in Coronation street actually owns furniture. Meanwhile, at Eileen’s place, Jason sits crying like Jessie Jackson at Obama’s inauguration.
It all leads to a show down later when Michelle and her brand new extensions arrive in the pub. Eileen had already been there to give Steve what for. But he did a good job of reminding her what a lout Jason was to Becky not so long ago. But, now Jason is also in the pub (glutton for punishment?) and when Michelle and her extensions clapped eyes on Steve and Becky making out behind the bar (professional) she couldn’t take it so she and her extension tossed a drink onto Becky’s shirt. Of course Becky went for her, but Jason held her back. There was no full on brawl, but Becky did tell Michelle that she’d better watch herself, or Becky would rip those extensions right out of her head.
Thank goodness we get to see more of Ted Paige on Coronation Street. Since he always knows what’s best for the family he met five minutes ago he decides to let Len Windass into Gail’s house despite the fact that Len has been threatening Tina and behaving rather menacingly to everyone on the Platt side of the fence. Moreover, he decides to take a message for Joe and while writing it down he practically yells the pertinent information in Len’s direction, then takes the message he has just written to the table where Len is sitting. Why he didn’t just hand Len the message I’ll never know. Is Ted on planet dumb-ass?
Finally, Tina, the only person in that household with any sense, arrives home and tells Len to get out of the house while that useless div actually protests. He leaves but later in the street he threatens Tina again and actually grabs her. Now, from this distance a kick to the balls just wouldn’t work, it could get really messy and she’d likely end up on the ground. However, a move I like to call the “nostril surprise” would be perfect here. Had she just brought her arm up fast and straight and connected the heel or her hand with that man’s nose, he’d be on the ground crying in a split second. Looks like someone never learned to keep his hands to himself in kindergarten and its time he learned the universal F –O.
In Other News
Now that Sophie is religious, Sally is incredulous and Kevin is … damn, I can’t think of a word that will complete this parallel structure.
Lloyd is in for a super exciting Friday night as Deirdre has invited he and liz over for a Lamb Tagine. Delicious, count me in.
Julie is really cracking under pressure and everyone is noticing. After Kelly comments on Julie’s recent behaviour in the pub, she breaks down crying in the ladies and tells Fiz what’s going one. Fiz suggests that there must be a law against Tony forcing her to fire someone without cause and threatening her livelihood if she doesn’t. Yeah … there must be a law.
Janice is at work tryng to work on her maths GCSE but is having difficulty with the whole decimal point concept. Her colleagues offer a variety of less than helpful advice, including something that invovles a milk bottle.
Joe gets a call from another builder who agrees to purchase his remaining inventory, so Joe is now debt free. Huzzah! David, who seems unable to get his ass off the sofa to find a job himself, wonders if he will get his old job back. Not yet, says Joe. Tina tells all and sundry that any mention of the words job, money or Windass are henceforth banned, but the words birthday, great daughter, and fabulous girlfriend are acceptable.
Eddie makes an awkward attempt to bribe David and Tina in the cafe, but to no avail.
Kevin slinks out of #4 after a night of drink, bumps into Claire on the stair, and then gets an earful from Sal on the street. Sophie brings Ben home for lunch, and she tells her parents that she has become a Christian. Sal and Kev are less than convinced that it will ’stick’. Sophie also shows them her new chastity belt ring and tells Sal and Kev that she doen’t want to be like Rosie, all shallow and insipid.
Jason and Becky come downstairs lloking rough after the big engagement night party. Todd calls from London to talk to Jason about the news, while Becky looks pensive in the background. Jason comes by the cafe later to talk about the future, and Becky swings between happy and unhappy. Sensitive soul Hayley picks up on this and asks if Becky is alright, and wonders if it has anything has to do Steve MacDonald hanging around outside all morning. Hayley tells Becky it sometime helps to write things down, so Becky comes up a list of pros and cons for Jason and Steve. When she is done Becky shares the list with Hayley, and it would seem that Steve is the obvious choice, but Becky announces that she has done the math, and Jason is the one.
After lunch at Chez Grimshaw, Becky and Eileen have a good chat about life and love. The topic of soon to be divorced Sarah comes up and Eileen quotes an aphorism about ‘one loves, and the other is loved.’ This gives Becky something to ponder, and later leads her to give the cubic zirconia back to Jason, telling him that she is sorry, but just can’t go through with it. Jason is understandably surprised and upset, and wonders if it is because of Steve…
In yesterday’s episode, Becky recounted the tales of her misfortunes on previous Friday the 13ths and was too afraid to fly. According to a source, Friday the 13th can bring good or bad luck. Well, this doesn’t seem to be Stevie-boy’s lucky day. He is drowning his sorrows in the pub and explains to his Mam that he was planning on proposing to Becky (a sort of grand romantic gesture) and winning her back. Alas, Jason beat Steve to the punch. Steve makes a comment about how much a hit man costs. I can’t help you there, but Tony can.
Becky and Jason decide to celebrate in the pub, but Becky wants to go first to tell Steve the bad good news. Steve tells Liz and Lloyd to not let on that he knows. Steve and Becky go into the back and Steve lays on the guilt trip, thick. Soon enough, Becky tells Steve that Jason proposed and she has accepted. Steve pretends (poorly) to be surprised and says it was kind of her to tell him in person. After they share a hug (never-ending from Steve’s end), she gets up to leave and comments on the lovely flowers in the vase – “Them is nice” she says and leaves. Jason comes into the Rovers and is congratulated by Steve, who also buys their first round. Steve asks Liz and Poppy to manage so he can escape upstairs. Roy spills red wine on Jason’s white pants. Seems like a cracking good party. Steve can hear the laughter upstairs and is miserable.
Becky decides she needs a smoke and heads out back where she finds (wait for it) Steve. Steve complains that Liz won’t let him smoke inside because of Amy. Steve claims that he had quit smoking before the woman of his dreams went off and got engaged to another man. As they talk about the engagement, Steve lets it slip that he saw the whole proposal. Becky is livid – he was so nice and surprised earlier when she went to tell him. Steve says that he was going to come over to propose to her and he has proof! He runs into the house to get the engagement ring he had bought for Michelle. Great – what every woman wants: someone else’s engagement ring. Steve proposes to Becky. Wow, 2 proposals in 1 day. This reminds me of when both Kirk and Tyrone were vying for the affections of a certain Ms. Fiona Brown. I digress. Steve reminds Becky that Jason is still married and who knows how long a divorce might take. Also, Jason escaped through a loo window the first time he and Sarah were supposed to get married. After he proposes, Becky yells “Not in a million years, not if you were the last man alive!”
Mary, Mary, quite contrary, How does your garden grow?
Graeme has been working in Sally’s garden and explains the all about the evils of fireweed. Remember, he learned this all inside, and even drug dealers like flowers. If this kind of stuff interests you, I highly recommend the movie Greenfingers – a delightful and charming flick. Sally pays him 30 quid and asks him to keep mum. Kevin comments on the garden and Sally implies she did it herself. With that, Graeme calls over the fence to say that he must have forgotten his watch there. Sally fesses up and Kevin freaks out like this is the biggest betrayal of their marriages (keeping in mind that both have had extra-marital affairs). All over 30 quid and they’re not collecting food stamps yet. Kevin acts like the child he is and stomps off to the pub. Fortunately, he meets Ashley in the pub (Claire has taken the kids to her mother’s). At some point, Kevin is in Ashley’s house (i.e., Kevin’s old house). He says he misses the old house and still calls it No. 4. This house is home.
Other news:
Tina sees Gary while she takes the rubbish to the bin and tells him to not tamper with a witness. However, she is grateful that he slugged his uncle after she was intimidated by Len.
Julie asks Fizz who the weakest sewer is at the factory. Fizz says it is Shawn. Really? What about all of the people we only see when it’s time to clock in and out? How much work do they get. Julie protests to Mr. Gordon that this isn’t fair. He says he is a delegator and that if she cannot pick someone to axe, it will be Julie who goes.
Please, please please tell me someone else sees the snowflakes falling when they visit our wee website…if not, it will be white bunnies next and I will end up trapping myself inside a bank machine outside the Brunswick House at 3 a.m. Again.
Morning.
Julie and Kirk emerge from the house for work. Kirk wants to know if Julie wants him to record Diagnosis Murder. He’s cracking on about a new wonder called a PVR.
Tony is parked outside Maria’s when she emerges. He apologizes for being overly-emotional at the cemetery, and reiterates his offer of help if she needs anything at all.
Anna Windass comes into the Kabin when Tina is working. She says she wants to apologize for Len’s behaviour, and that Gary even took a swing at his uncle over it. Tina wants to know if she’s supposed to be impressed. Anna buys a Curly-Whirly bar and leaves.
Becky is in the Cafe, wondering why Roy wants to take her down to their supplier. Hailey suggests there’s more to running a cafe than frying an egg. Becky serves Eddie and Len; Eddie is reading his paper and the date is Friday the 13th. They ask her if she’s susperstitious. Becky, as it turns out, has an unpleasant history of Friday the 13ths, as follows:
1) Her cat Fluffy was run over by an ice-cream truck, despite the little tune that ice-cream trucks play, which might have warned the cat off. Apparently Fluffy’s favourite toy ball played the exact same tune so the doomed feline hurled himself smack into the ice-cream truck.
2) Another year, Becky was out clubbing and ended up in the mens’ bog. The bouncer tried to remove her but she managed to dodge him, slipped and cracked her back tooth on the washroom sink.
3) And yet in another incident, she ended up in hospital after consuming 14 pints of snakebite.
Becky returns to the counter to serve Natasha. She tells Natasha what a laugh the previous night at Eileen’s was. Natasha says her date with Steve sucked…Becky wants to know what she means, but Hailey tells Becky not to be so nosy. They chat a bit about Maria and Natasha leaves. Outside, Natasha runs into Steve. He apologizes for being a crappy date. Natasha, fairly perceptively tells Steve that if he’s interested in “Motor-mouth”, he’d better step on it. Their chat is cut short as Eileen appears.
Jason comes into the Cafe and has a word with Hailey. He tells Hailey he’s going to propose to Becky. Hailey gently suggests Jason might be putting the cart before the horse, as he is not yet divorced. But Jason has it all worked out: he will whisk Becky away to Tenerife and propose on the beach on Valentine’s Day. Hailey wonders if Becky will think it’s all a bit sudden. Bill wants to know if Jason has a ring. He offers to go into town with Jason and loan him the money to buy one.
Noonish
Becky has returned, and Lloyd pops in for lunch, saying he fancies a change – he always has the same old thing. “How is Liz?” Becky quips, winding him up. After considering the (sustainable – Roy notes) fish, Lloyd opts for the same old pie & chips.
Jason appears, grinning widely. He hands Becky the travel tickets. She is at first ecstatic, crying, “OMG, I’m going to France!” until Roy corrects her – “OMG, I’m going to Spain!” She deflates almost immediately when she realizes they are to leave that night: Friday 13th. As sorry as she is, she tells Jason she absolutely cannot get on a plane on Friday 13th because it will go down somewhere over the Pacific. “Atlantic,” Roy offers. Jason is downcast; he tells Becky that Eileen had suggested he check with her first.
“Wot??” Becky reacts to everyone’s stares after he leaves. “It’s Friday! Firteenf!”
Jason goes and reports the kink in his plans to Bill, saying he’s not giving up that easily. He says he’s going to show Becky that Friday Firteenf is the luckiest day of her life.
Lloyd and Steve sit in the Rovers. Lloyd is filling Steve in on Becky’s turning down Jason. Steve says Becky is the funniest, craziest, most unpredictable girl he’s ever been with. Lloyd says he’s going to throw up. Steve shuts him up by pointing out we can’t help who we fall in love with. Steve wants to let Becky know how serious he is about her, with a big, grandiose gesture. Steve decides he’s going to propose. They walk over to Dev’s to get some flowers. Lloyd points out he doesn’t have a ring. Steve does, however….the ring he offered to Michelle. Natasha happens along and gets wind of the plan. She encourages Steve but suggests he go to the good florist and give the dying mums at Dev’s a miss.
Sally is in the butcher’s to get a bit of belly pork. As she orders, Graham flails his cleaver around in the background, launching himself at a rack of ribs. Ashley, having grown used to his offbeat assistant, tells Sally to ignore him. Sally bemoans the appearance of her garden; Graham offers to help her sort it out as he won the gardening prize twice while inside. The third time he lost, due to certain plants he was growing. He sounds like he knows his botany, so Sally agrees.
In the Rovers’, Kirk tells Julie and Sean has decided that he must be more enterprising as an unemployed person. His solution is to make cushions stuffed with dog hair. And he’s making his own Christmas cards, even though it’s only February. Upon hearing these plans, Julie loses all interest in her sandwich.
Later, the factory staff is in full song, sewing up a storm to ‘Mickey’, complete with hand-claps. Tony thunders in and steals the radio. He chides them for their utter lack of professionalism and calls Julie in to his office. He says by the end of the week, she’s to find the weakest link in the bunch so Tony can sack them.
Teatime
Bill and Jason are cooking up Plan B. It comes to fruition in the Cafe, where Jason has asked Eileen to be at 2:00. A song gets popped on the boom box (Love lifts us up where we belong), as Jason, garbed as a naval commander in full dress whites, strides in. He plants a kiss on Becky, who has just unplugged a drain with pink rubber gloves on, and is holding a rubbery piece of chicken skin. Outside is a hot-looking Harley, and Jason deposits her on the seat.
As he gets down on one knee, we see Steve and Lloyd in the background, emerging from the cab with flowers. They witness the happy scene, and watch as Jason says he loves Becky, wants to spend the rest of his life with her…and a bunch of other stuff…finally offering her a cubic zirconia ring as the others crowd around. She accepts, and the curse of Friday Firteenf passes from Becky to Steve, apparently.
